SISTERHOOD
"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." Linda Sunshine
I laughed when I read that...Sisterhood is that timeless soul solidarity that no situation in life can ever sever. Never ever. Sometimes though...it seems as though we want to---putting the distance and the disdain and the damned dumb things we all say or do in the way of a perfectly designed relationship. Think about it. How many friendships or even marriages have survived the back biting, the huffs and puffs, the criticism and the crass remarks...the stolen clothes and the borrowed money...We know each others faults and virtues and catastrophes and triumphs...and even though it takes a lifetime -sometimes to overcome what happened in childhood...or where we fit in...the baby or the peacemaker, the caretaker or the avoider...sisters are always there for us...when the chips are down and the going gets rougher.
That's been my grateful experience with my oldest...much older-just kidding-sister. She's only 2 years older, but because I've considered her the brain in the family...the technology guru who's made amazing strides in her professional life...despite our clearly dysfunctional upbringing...I've always viewed her as the gal who's got it go'in on.
Ela moved far away from us after college...to the sunny shores of California...and to the beautiful hills of Walnut Creek. Distance and dreams divided us into different worlds...different dimensions of the same universe, but I always knew she was floating out there...just a phone call away...I always knew I had a sister-I could call on...who might not like what I had to say, or my latest unhealthy choice...I always knew she was there with her logical mind and her big heart.
We cried together when our parents died, when our sister died too young...she cried when I got sick, and sicker still...When my world fell apart--a piece of hers did as well...She's bridged the gap that divides us by bending over backward--when leaning forward is hard enough...By being the one who believes in me...even when she doesn't really understand me...and lots of times when she doesn't want to---because- that's what sisters do.
In fact, this blog site is dedicated to her--designed by her...I told her what I envisioned and she made it happen...because that's how her brain works...and her heart.
I don't tell her often enough how much I love her or how proud I am of her or how blessed I am to have her in my life...I like to blame it on our military brat upbringing...or maybe our German/Irish background...Too many proud bones in one body...But the truth is how do you really say thank you...for everything...for being my sister and my friend...for caring enough to give everything...when you may get nothing in return?...
My sister -like my kids is the gift that keeps on giving...and keeps getting better--with every passing day--as time passes and life leads us closer together...I'm finding out how very much alike we really are...how very much I miss having her around...but so very thankful that she's there anyway...alive and well and sane enough to see through the fog to the real me and beyond.
I don't know if sisterhood is a snare set by God to keep us on our toes, dependent and independent...so that we will have to face our reflection in someone who knows...because some part of us is in them...and no one else. But it's a brilliantly beautiful design...and I for one-claim the bloodline of a designer original...a sister and a girlfriend, destined to be a classic!
I laughed when I read that...Sisterhood is that timeless soul solidarity that no situation in life can ever sever. Never ever. Sometimes though...it seems as though we want to---putting the distance and the disdain and the damned dumb things we all say or do in the way of a perfectly designed relationship. Think about it. How many friendships or even marriages have survived the back biting, the huffs and puffs, the criticism and the crass remarks...the stolen clothes and the borrowed money...We know each others faults and virtues and catastrophes and triumphs...and even though it takes a lifetime -sometimes to overcome what happened in childhood...or where we fit in...the baby or the peacemaker, the caretaker or the avoider...sisters are always there for us...when the chips are down and the going gets rougher.
That's been my grateful experience with my oldest...much older-just kidding-sister. She's only 2 years older, but because I've considered her the brain in the family...the technology guru who's made amazing strides in her professional life...despite our clearly dysfunctional upbringing...I've always viewed her as the gal who's got it go'in on.
Ela moved far away from us after college...to the sunny shores of California...and to the beautiful hills of Walnut Creek. Distance and dreams divided us into different worlds...different dimensions of the same universe, but I always knew she was floating out there...just a phone call away...I always knew I had a sister-I could call on...who might not like what I had to say, or my latest unhealthy choice...I always knew she was there with her logical mind and her big heart.
We cried together when our parents died, when our sister died too young...she cried when I got sick, and sicker still...When my world fell apart--a piece of hers did as well...She's bridged the gap that divides us by bending over backward--when leaning forward is hard enough...By being the one who believes in me...even when she doesn't really understand me...and lots of times when she doesn't want to---because- that's what sisters do.
In fact, this blog site is dedicated to her--designed by her...I told her what I envisioned and she made it happen...because that's how her brain works...and her heart.
I don't tell her often enough how much I love her or how proud I am of her or how blessed I am to have her in my life...I like to blame it on our military brat upbringing...or maybe our German/Irish background...Too many proud bones in one body...But the truth is how do you really say thank you...for everything...for being my sister and my friend...for caring enough to give everything...when you may get nothing in return?...
My sister -like my kids is the gift that keeps on giving...and keeps getting better--with every passing day--as time passes and life leads us closer together...I'm finding out how very much alike we really are...how very much I miss having her around...but so very thankful that she's there anyway...alive and well and sane enough to see through the fog to the real me and beyond.
I don't know if sisterhood is a snare set by God to keep us on our toes, dependent and independent...so that we will have to face our reflection in someone who knows...because some part of us is in them...and no one else. But it's a brilliantly beautiful design...and I for one-claim the bloodline of a designer original...a sister and a girlfriend, destined to be a classic!
Comments
Once Stephen was born, the ten year difference in our ages and my maternal instincts made me adore him like a real live baby doll. I thought of him as not only my brother but as my "play son" too, and wouldn't have traded him for all the sisters in the world.
I guess because I was surrounded by males, I always got along better with boys as I grew up. I would name girls as my best friends whenever anyone asked, because that seemed socially correct, but I'd rather have hung out with the boys anytime, and often did, although I absolutely never was a tomboy.
I've enjoyed female friends all my life, but for some reason I never quite trusted women until I met two very special friends at work when I was in my thirties. There was nothing I can point to, except maybe their Christianity and corresponding behavior that made Pam and Jackie so important to me. Maybe it was just timing - they were there for me as I went through breast cancer and it's aftermath. Maybe it was just time for me to mature and realize that to be a well rounded woman I'd need my soul to connect with the souls of other women. Men are wonderful, and I certainly believe my husband strengthens me as a woman, but to really be one, you've got to really know a few other women with you can share your ups and downs and trials and questions.
At 51, I'm proud of and grateful for all the "sisters" in my life, and wouldn't take anything for what they've taught me.
Diane L. Harris
http://www.steppingintothelight.net