You Are Not Alone!

By -

There is a beautiful woman from Africa living at the battered women's shelter. She is afraid of being alone. Her fear, kept her in a 9 year marriage to a man who almost killed her. The abuse got so bad-she had to face her fear of being alone and leave...Every week when she shares-she grieves the loss of his companionship...she says she likes being married...because she doesn't like being alone. This young woman doesn't realize it yet-but she is not alone...none of us are....not even when we are by ourselves or feeling lonely-the truth is we are never alone...

I thought about this woman today as I sat in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel at the Catholic Church around the corner from my home. I go there when I need prayerful direction, comfort and yes-when I am feeling alone. I remembered today how really alone I used to feel as a child and well into my adult life. In fact I clearly remember a day in my early twenties, at the beginning of a promising TV career and a new marriage- I remember telling God how alone I felt...detached like an island floating alone through the wide open sea. I pleaded with my God for a friend-someone to fill the emptiness...to fill the deep void within...that not even my friends or husband could fill. Well, beware of what you ask for, because God heard me-loud and clear-soon after-sending me my firstborn son. This surprise love child, baby Johnny, filled the days and hours, filled the time void, but-as much as I loved him-he didn't fill that internal emptiness-that lonely yearning deep inside....An aching, needy feeling of loneliness which I tried to fill over the years with a myriad of make believe anecdotes like career or relationships, or food, or shopping or alcohol.

Needless to say, nothing satisfied me because--I was not satisfied with myself...I was not at peace with me...filled with insecurity and self criticism, I surrendered to external influences in the search for inner fulfillment...Of course, that only suffocated me even further...causing me to lose my center and give away my inner power over and over and over again....It's no wonder so many of us have become compulsive consumers or bona fide addicts.

It's taken me years of hard work, gut wrenching, heart pounding, self reflection to forge my way into the vast uncharted territory that is my emotional island. But it's paying off...I'm learning the difference between what I want and what I need...and the need is usually not that great...
I'm learning to accept and honor my feelings...all of them...the good, the bad, the ugly...
and I'm learning the giant difference between feeling alone...and feeling lonely...

And as I've come to understand myself better, I've come to understand my higher power better...and to really embrace the ultimate healing source of light and love that embraces me 24/7, whether I'm in a crowded room or alone in my bedroom...It's funny how we are told those things as children, but life gets in the way of our brains and sometimes we forget what we know deep within...That we are never alone-because God is always with us, inside of us, inspiring us with self love at the wonder of our being . I remember a few years ago during the end of my troubled marriage -a gifted priest, Fr. Bill McCarthy, prayed with me...He said, "Mary Lou let's hear what Jesus has to say." He closed his eyes, placed his hands over my head and spoke, "Mary Lou, you are never alone...I am your one true spouse."
While I admit, those words didn't give me much consolation back then...today, I smile at the enormous power of those words...and the peace they now bring me...

Today I no longer feel alone...though sometimes I do feel lonely. Of course in a house full of boys and friends and frenzy, that's not often....But during those rare times of loneliness I am comforted by Fr. McCarthy's words...and by the peace and contentment that has somehow filled in the hole that once left me feeling alone ... My prayer is that this young African woman will discover the peaceful understanding of who she really is...so that she can be filled with the fullness of the wonder of her being, instead of the fear of being alone. And besides-when you get right down to it...in her kind of marriage-if you can call it a marriage-she was all by her lonesome, any way you look at it!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SUBLIME AUDACITY!

By -
Image
I have all the signs and symptoms of something I just learned about today...Sublime Audacity. That's right...I have the audacity to believe-that anything is possible-anything at all-with God. In fact, I believe that there is one cure for all the world's ills...and that cure rests with -and in God. In a world of material wealth, individual desires and carefully orchestrated managed care...When people search the world over for the answers that never come, the healings that rarely happen and the hope that always gets dashed by the next person...I believe that there is only one steady stream of consciousness that always gets it right...and that is God. I've personally experienced it time and again and every time I look elsewhere or seek some other solution, I always come crawling back to the staying power of my higher power...Because let's face it...Once we have the audacity to tell anyone-anyone at all that God is responsible for all the good in our lives or the Love that
Read more

OUR LADY OF JOY, HANCEVILLE ALABAMA

By -
Image
High atop a hill in Hanceville Alabama, broken hearts are being healed and hope is being restored. Our Lady of Joyful Hope is a community of young men who are finding new freedom through a life of authentic truth. Once lost in the darkness of addiction they are now living in the light of Christ who is transforming them from the inside out...And their families, if they are open and willing, are being transformed right alongside them. Recently, I spent three days with this community, listening to the young men, their parents and to the foundress, Mother Elvira, who flew in from Italy for the anointing of the new community house and the celebration that followed. Mother Elvira's life story is on par with Mother Teresa. She is an Italian nun who heard the call from God to snatch souls from Satan by delivering young men and women from the demonic grip of addiction. She gave up everything familiar, walked straight into the wilderness and wound up becoming a living legacy for desperate fa
Read more

HRUSHIV UKRAINE: APPARITIONS OF THE BLESSED MOTHER

By -
Image
Twenty four years ago today, April 27, 1987 the Blessed Mother allegedly appeared in Hrushiv Ukraine with a warning and words of consolation. She came on the Feast of the Ascension, exactly one year after the nuclear reactor disaster at Chernobyl saying "Do not forget those who have died...Chernobyl is a reminder and a sign for the whole world." In 1990 while producing a television documentary in Ukraine, I visited Hrushi and interviewed a handful of people who had witnessed the apparition above the church of the Holy Trinity. In all, some five hundred thousand witnesses claimed to have seen the Virgin Mary over a four month period. Mary apparently told them she came to thank the Ukrainian people because they had suffered so much at the hands of a raging lion who had been prowling around seeking whom he could devour. She said their suffering would come to an end and one day Ukraine would become an independent state. She then urged disciplined, Christian fortitude, "
Read more