Keep Coming Back!

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You never know when something you say, something you do or something you share will trigger a pivotal change in some one's life ... a change that could save their life. My good friend called me today and asked me if I'd take her to her first AA meeting. She's been thinking about it, talking about it, toying with the idea for weeks...but tonight she took the plunge, and I dived right in with her.

It takes a lot of courage to walk into an AA meeting for the first time...to even consider confessing an addiction in a public gathering. The fear, the humiliation, the shame and the not knowing-who you may know or who may know you-grips you like a vice. Because let's face it-
no one wants to be an alcoholic, and no one really understands how something so stigmatized could have gained power over their perfect little lives...That's because most people don't really understand, that alcoholism-addiction- is a disease- just like cancer or diabetes or aids. You never know who it will strike- or when.

My friend has been watching me, listening to me and eyeing the new sober me with curiosity and admiration...She says I have something profound...a peace-that she wants. Her life is out of control and she is sick and tired of being sick and tired. She's had her share of heartaches and bellyaches, backaches and stomachaches...and she simply wants some of that peace that she knows she's not getting every time she numbs herself with a drink.

I remember my first meeting...I felt detached from the crowd, out of place and full of self pity.
I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to have this disease and I tried to blame it on everything and everyone I could. But no matter how I tried to buck the system, how many different ways I tried to rationalize myself out of this condition---I never stopped going to the meetings. Something sent me back through those doors over and over again, into the loving embrace of some of the most secure human beings I have ever met. Sure in the early days I missed a bunch of meetings...got too busy, or too tired or too blind to see that this was the one place -the one organization that would never let me down. But I never stopped going completely--I never gave up on the possibility that this was right where I needed to be...and that if I'd just surrender my stubborn streak-just maybe, I would find the source of true serenity.

So my prayer today for my friend is that she will keep coming back-and that she will let down her guard and let go of her fears...just long enough --so that she will find- that the path to true freedom and complete fulfillment- which she is so desperately seeking, is just 12 steps away... right through the doors of AA!

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