THE WAY OF THE CROSS

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It was unsettling seeing the bare altar, the empty tabernacle and the purple cloth draping the crucifix. The absence of his physical presence was palpable...unnerving. The void made me feel uneasy and a little afraid. I imagined this must be what it would feel like always...if there was no God.

As we moved through his last hours...through the journey of the cross...and the fourteen stations that culminated with his very brutal death...I felt intensely sorry, maybe for the first time in my life...Genuinely sad at the pain of his lonely sacrifice...and how quickly I forget. I felt responsible for his suffering...a feeling I have never felt more strongly.

There have been so many times in my life that I have felt the lonely emptiness, the betrayal and the rejection...So many times I have fallen, flat on my face...in the face of my humanity...When I have let go of God and let the misery move me to mind boggling mistakes...But today, even in the sadness of the stations, I felt moved by the exquisite nature of his suffering and the promise of unconditional forgiveness everytime we stumble...A promise that has no limits or letdowns-only joyful anticipation of our spiritual awakening.

I also felt proud of the women- who would stand by Jesus...who would stand for the courage that we are all called to embrace...and the unity that comes when two or more are gathered in his name. I knew their silent suffering stood as a reminder that our pain is pledged to a power greater than we can ever really know, for a purpose that puts all of this in perspective.

Christ conquered our death-by dying, gave us new life-by living...and restored the redemptive power of our suffering...by conquering sin through the ultimate sacrifice of his life. The Alpha and the Omega-the beginning and the end.

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