The Face of Abuse
She said he threatened to have someone rape her then slit her throat. He said this in front of their son. Now the little nine year old asks "Will daddy do the same thing to me?" I listened in disbelief. I can't personally wrap my mind around such cruelty. It borders on demonic. But it happens every single day-to our friends our relatives our neighbors. A woman is battered at least once every 15 seconds in the U.S. Four women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands every day. Threats, intimidation, verbal, emotional, physical-abuse...the threat of murder...this slender young woman, wide eyed and soft spoken-has lived it all...she is the face of a battered woman. But a battered woman who is not going to take it anymore...she is determined to take back her power and control...in order to save her life and the life of her child.
Kelly has escaped with her son, to a battered women's shelter in New Orleans. Her first step toward recovery...her first healthy choice...a courageous choice. Leaving is the most difficult decision...even when he has hit her, raped her, bullied her, accused her of adultery and told her what she could and could not eat...when he even controlled the kind of gum she could chew. She is finally fed up with her living nightmare...finally strong enough to seize control over her life...to face her fears-because living in fear has kept her imprisoned by a warden who won't stop hurting her until she is dead. He is driven by power and control over his victim-it's that plain and simple.
Today-Kelly applied for food stamps...a humbling experience...but liberating...this too shall pass. But for now-the food stamps will put food in her son's mouth...and she will allowed to choose the menu...however simple...for the first time in her young adult life.
It's important for Kelly and other women like her to take her recovery one step at a time.
It will take time to build up her self esteem and confidence...while dismantling her confused feelings of Love and loyalty for her batterer. But if she works it, she'll save her own life and the life of her son...who is destined to become a batterer if he continues to live with his father's example.
Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War. Unfortunately, battering is an insidious, silent, war launched against very vulnerable, shame based women...who are secretly crying out for your help.
Become educated...get involved...and if you suspect someone is being emotionally, verbally or physically abused...don't be afraid to butt in...you could be saving a life-or two lives, like Kelly and her little boy.
Kelly has escaped with her son, to a battered women's shelter in New Orleans. Her first step toward recovery...her first healthy choice...a courageous choice. Leaving is the most difficult decision...even when he has hit her, raped her, bullied her, accused her of adultery and told her what she could and could not eat...when he even controlled the kind of gum she could chew. She is finally fed up with her living nightmare...finally strong enough to seize control over her life...to face her fears-because living in fear has kept her imprisoned by a warden who won't stop hurting her until she is dead. He is driven by power and control over his victim-it's that plain and simple.
Today-Kelly applied for food stamps...a humbling experience...but liberating...this too shall pass. But for now-the food stamps will put food in her son's mouth...and she will allowed to choose the menu...however simple...for the first time in her young adult life.
It's important for Kelly and other women like her to take her recovery one step at a time.
It will take time to build up her self esteem and confidence...while dismantling her confused feelings of Love and loyalty for her batterer. But if she works it, she'll save her own life and the life of her son...who is destined to become a batterer if he continues to live with his father's example.
Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War. Unfortunately, battering is an insidious, silent, war launched against very vulnerable, shame based women...who are secretly crying out for your help.
Become educated...get involved...and if you suspect someone is being emotionally, verbally or physically abused...don't be afraid to butt in...you could be saving a life-or two lives, like Kelly and her little boy.
Comments