A Child's Reflection
I learn alot from my children...things about them-and things about me. They're like a mirror looking back at us...if we are open to the reflection.
I'm going through a really stressful time right now...and as things go-with the exception of grinding my teeth...I'm handling it fairly well. In conversation with my 11 year old son Jacob, I asked, "How do you think things will turn out?" Without missing a beat he replied, "One of two ways...first, God is watching to see if you will start drinking alcohol...and second, the devil is going to try to make you drink." I said, "What do you think will happen?" Wide eyed, he replied, "The first one-you haven't done that in a very long time...and besides, you have been doing what God wants you to do." I smiled at his support and his faith and his spiritual depth...He gave me strength and encouragement and a sense of accomplishment in the midst of all my mistakes.
As I have learned over the years, our children are miniature models of us...what we put in their heads, in their minds and in front of their faces comes right back at us...sometimes it feels good and sometimes it makes us cry...but each time, they are simply spitting out what they have learned from good ole mom and dad...
I spend a lot of my time talking with my kids, about everything from the birds and the bees to AA to the meaning of life, love and God. I remember after the birth of my fourth son we went hiking and my brother in law asked us if we were going swimming later. My third son Benjamin belted out- "No my mom is still bleeding!" Bewildered, my brother in law wanted to know if I told them about "that time of the month." Of course I had, but my son Ben was referring to the healing process a mom goes through after the birth of a child.
Now I know that may sound nutty to some of you-but, I figure God sent me five sons to make a small inroad in the psyche of the male population. I also just believe in open lines of communication between parents and children. There's nothing scarier than parents who won't talk intimately with their children. My parents didn't-and even though they were great caretakers-their silence left me insecure and shy for most of my life. Believe it or not.
Of course the older they get, our children start to clam up and mutter answers and shy away from too much intimacy. But that's okay too. They need to figure things out for themselves...figure out what they like and don't like about themselves...and about their parents...so they can tell us those things when we make them mad. Sometimes they're right on target, like the other day when both my 19 and 23 year old sons told me about a poor choice I had made...What can I say-they were right...I saw my reflection in their words...and it wasn't very pretty, but in a few minutes it was gone...and we moved on.
My five sons are the best teachers I can have...I learn a lot from them...and I'm sure they learn a lot from me...and together...I figure, we will grow and develop and hopefully evolve into the kind of human beings we will all learn something from-if we are open to the reflection.
I'm going through a really stressful time right now...and as things go-with the exception of grinding my teeth...I'm handling it fairly well. In conversation with my 11 year old son Jacob, I asked, "How do you think things will turn out?" Without missing a beat he replied, "One of two ways...first, God is watching to see if you will start drinking alcohol...and second, the devil is going to try to make you drink." I said, "What do you think will happen?" Wide eyed, he replied, "The first one-you haven't done that in a very long time...and besides, you have been doing what God wants you to do." I smiled at his support and his faith and his spiritual depth...He gave me strength and encouragement and a sense of accomplishment in the midst of all my mistakes.
As I have learned over the years, our children are miniature models of us...what we put in their heads, in their minds and in front of their faces comes right back at us...sometimes it feels good and sometimes it makes us cry...but each time, they are simply spitting out what they have learned from good ole mom and dad...
I spend a lot of my time talking with my kids, about everything from the birds and the bees to AA to the meaning of life, love and God. I remember after the birth of my fourth son we went hiking and my brother in law asked us if we were going swimming later. My third son Benjamin belted out- "No my mom is still bleeding!" Bewildered, my brother in law wanted to know if I told them about "that time of the month." Of course I had, but my son Ben was referring to the healing process a mom goes through after the birth of a child.
Now I know that may sound nutty to some of you-but, I figure God sent me five sons to make a small inroad in the psyche of the male population. I also just believe in open lines of communication between parents and children. There's nothing scarier than parents who won't talk intimately with their children. My parents didn't-and even though they were great caretakers-their silence left me insecure and shy for most of my life. Believe it or not.
Of course the older they get, our children start to clam up and mutter answers and shy away from too much intimacy. But that's okay too. They need to figure things out for themselves...figure out what they like and don't like about themselves...and about their parents...so they can tell us those things when we make them mad. Sometimes they're right on target, like the other day when both my 19 and 23 year old sons told me about a poor choice I had made...What can I say-they were right...I saw my reflection in their words...and it wasn't very pretty, but in a few minutes it was gone...and we moved on.
My five sons are the best teachers I can have...I learn a lot from them...and I'm sure they learn a lot from me...and together...I figure, we will grow and develop and hopefully evolve into the kind of human beings we will all learn something from-if we are open to the reflection.
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