ANOREXIA NERVOSA
Anorexia Nervosa is a lonely disease. A wounded person is trapped inside their own body, a prisoner to the fear of getting fat-so they refuse to eat the food they need to stay alive. They are starving themselves to death...Slowly, but surely killing themselves because they will not swallow the food or the liquid that their emaciated body is so desperately craving.
It seems like insanity...But in essence it is a cry for help, from a deeply troubled soul. A hurting human being who is harming themselves because they can no longer take the emotional pain that has been slowly eating away at their insides. It is their way of seizing power over their lives, when their lives seem out of control.
Adolescents are often the victims. They begin losing weight and then without warning, the weight loss takes on a life of its own...spiraling out of control, turning an often physically healthy and robust teen, into a walking skeleton....No muscle, no fat-just skin and bones...a walking corpse with sunken, sad eyes and a haunting feeling of hopelessness.
As I write this, on a Sunday morning, my middle child Ben is curled up in his bed...covered from head to toe with his blanket...tired and worn out...trying to turn the tide of this traumatizing disease. There are good days and bad...peaks and valleys, laughter and tears...but together-we will see this through and with God we will be victorious. I believe that-in the depths of my being...in that place where hope resides and faith is alive and growing stronger with every challenge that comes our way.
My son never ceases to amaze me. He is embracing his condition with honesty and humility...opening up to friends and family...even writing about it on Facebook. Facing his fears by sharing his pain is key to his recovery. He told me I could blog about him...because in his mind-it is what it is. In our home-there is no room for shame or scary secrets. Privacy about personal matters is an individuals personal choice, but shameful secrets do not reside here. I know from personal experience that shame is emotionally debilitating, and can make a sick person sicker, leading them to believe they are bad or broken and that they deserve to be sick. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Ben has very lovingly shared his feelings of anxiety and depression with his brothers, asking them for their help...helping them understand how important they are to him and to his recovery. I am watching them forge a brotherly bond built on true Love and respect and an authentic desire to help-because that's what brothers do. It is one of those unexpected gifts that grows out of adversity...and comes as an answer to a mother's prayers.
This past week Ben's weight remained stable, for the first time in a month. But the thought of gaining weight-still terrifies him and he is struggling with surrendering his power and control over his body-to the guidance of his doctors. Isn't that the way it always is? We are afraid to let go of the one thing that is causing us the most harm...because we are afraid of the unknown.
Someone once said, "We take on the strength of that which we overcome." That has been my experience...and I know it will be Ben's. He is strong, gifted and filled with a deep, abiding faith in a God that is guiding him one step at a time, one day at a time to the miracle, that I believe, is just around the corner.
It seems like insanity...But in essence it is a cry for help, from a deeply troubled soul. A hurting human being who is harming themselves because they can no longer take the emotional pain that has been slowly eating away at their insides. It is their way of seizing power over their lives, when their lives seem out of control.
Adolescents are often the victims. They begin losing weight and then without warning, the weight loss takes on a life of its own...spiraling out of control, turning an often physically healthy and robust teen, into a walking skeleton....No muscle, no fat-just skin and bones...a walking corpse with sunken, sad eyes and a haunting feeling of hopelessness.
As I write this, on a Sunday morning, my middle child Ben is curled up in his bed...covered from head to toe with his blanket...tired and worn out...trying to turn the tide of this traumatizing disease. There are good days and bad...peaks and valleys, laughter and tears...but together-we will see this through and with God we will be victorious. I believe that-in the depths of my being...in that place where hope resides and faith is alive and growing stronger with every challenge that comes our way.
My son never ceases to amaze me. He is embracing his condition with honesty and humility...opening up to friends and family...even writing about it on Facebook. Facing his fears by sharing his pain is key to his recovery. He told me I could blog about him...because in his mind-it is what it is. In our home-there is no room for shame or scary secrets. Privacy about personal matters is an individuals personal choice, but shameful secrets do not reside here. I know from personal experience that shame is emotionally debilitating, and can make a sick person sicker, leading them to believe they are bad or broken and that they deserve to be sick. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Ben has very lovingly shared his feelings of anxiety and depression with his brothers, asking them for their help...helping them understand how important they are to him and to his recovery. I am watching them forge a brotherly bond built on true Love and respect and an authentic desire to help-because that's what brothers do. It is one of those unexpected gifts that grows out of adversity...and comes as an answer to a mother's prayers.
This past week Ben's weight remained stable, for the first time in a month. But the thought of gaining weight-still terrifies him and he is struggling with surrendering his power and control over his body-to the guidance of his doctors. Isn't that the way it always is? We are afraid to let go of the one thing that is causing us the most harm...because we are afraid of the unknown.
Someone once said, "We take on the strength of that which we overcome." That has been my experience...and I know it will be Ben's. He is strong, gifted and filled with a deep, abiding faith in a God that is guiding him one step at a time, one day at a time to the miracle, that I believe, is just around the corner.
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