Different Kind of Special!

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"You are a different kind of special mom. What kind? You overcame alcohol...you are caring, helpful, generous, always trying to find out what God wants you to do." The word according to 11 year old Jacob.

"God is very happy with you!" The gospel according to 10 year old Zachary.

Just when I want to spend too much time giving in and giving away my power-my higher power, my kids set me straight...soaring straight for the stars. We talked as I put them to bed last night. Chatted about things that were going on in our lives...things we're all doing right and some things we need to get right. And just when I think I've messed up again...or it's time to feel blue...wide eyed and wonderful, they remind me that mom is amazing-in their eyes. It doesn't take much-just a little old fashioned.

I'd come from a women's AA meeting where everyone shared a piece of their story...One woman had a long wild ride that spanned 35 years...before she stopped drinking her life away...I thought-damn I got cheated out of some time,...then I thought "what a nutty thing to think" after all you've been through...after you almost died. But that's how fast our minds wander down selective memory lane...how quickly we forget...how quickly we romance our poor choices...because when someone else is doing it-or talking about it...it looks great...because...the grass is always greener on the other side of the street. Especially when we've put a little distance between us...and the desert mirage.

But today...the good news is, I can see the weeds and the worn brown patches...and the mirage... I can think things through rationally...all things...without the sudden whim to throw caution to the wind and fly wherever I want to because that's how I feel for the moment. I don't buy things I don't need anymore, or hang with people I know will hurt me or justify missing mass just because some church people are less than perfect or because I can pray just as easily right here in front of my computer. I realize moving to the next phase of my life will take a little more effort, a little less isolation and a huge dose of confidence that the world is full of people pulling for me and hoping I'll be pulling for them. Doing unto others as we would have them do unto us...and giving up and giving away all the nonsense that messed up our lives.

I love children, I love talking to them-- because they look at life so honestly...so purely... That's why they say we must have the faith of a child to see God clearly...to see our defined roles clearly...to see the big things we are doing every time we take those baby steps....

I'm hoping my two youngest boys are right...God may be happy-happier-with me these days---but I am confident that he's happy with my kids...because they are very different kind of special sons!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Kids can be so direct in their comments and true in their love. Just when you're thinking for the fifteenth time in a week, "Why can't you separate your dirty socks from your clean ones," they say something you'd pick up a houseful of dirty socks to hear again.

Diane L. Harris
http://www.steppingintothelight.net
November 02, 2008
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