Miracle Moments

The Trojans attacked me. The viruses invaded. My computer looked like a pubescent, pimple faced adolescent. The pop ups popped every time I tried to navigate to this page or that page or to this blog for this days post. Thank God for the computer wizards with the arsenal of disc weaponry that wipes out all evidence of the blight that messes with the mind and the menu that is our computer memory. "You have a security problem!" "Yes I do and it's you--you don't belong on my screen so zap-you're gone!"...Pesty creatures...but hardly harmless...It's never happened to me--but I'm told these alien viruses can completely disable you...and your computer. Seems someone-somewhere in my home searched far and wide to wonderlands that like to send infections to the unsuspecting Internet surfer. No more fun in the sun! Only dark, dismal days of sickly road hazards. So tonight-I stand firmly planted in my resolve to wipe the slate clean, block the rocky roads o

"You are a different kind of special mom. What kind? You overcame alcohol...you are caring, helpful, generous, always trying to find out what God wants you to do." The word according to 11 year old Jacob. "God is very happy with you!" The gospel according to 10 year old Zachary. Just when I want to spend too much time giving in and giving away my power-my higher power, my kids set me straight...soaring straight for the stars. We talked as I put them to bed last night. Chatted about things that were going on in our lives...things we're all doing right and some things we need to get right. And just when I think I've messed up again...or it's time to feel blue...wide eyed and wonderful, they remind me that mom is amazing-in their eyes. It doesn't take much-just a little old fashioned. I'd come from a women's AA meeting where everyone shared a piece of their story...One woman had a long wild ride that spanned 35 years...before she stopped drinkin

"There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love." Rabbi Shmuley Boteau So true. Let's ponder that.

The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. The program of recovery is unquestionably-spiritually miraculous. There is no other venue-where so many diverse individuals come together daily, to share their failings, feelings of futility and their future hopes-for a God centered life. There they learn the true spirit of surrender, letting go and letting God-and the gift of unconditional love. I have personally learned that tragedies can be turned into triumphs and enemies into best friends. Old ideas, prejudices and selfish thoughts, resentments and anger... feelings of betrayal and rejection slowly disappear...replaced by a serenity and a subtle acceptance of life on life's terms. In the journey that is this life...my hope is to move forward with the spirit of good intentions, the knowledge that true reform is a daily process, that rebuilding lives is essential to rebuilding families and that the evolution of the soul can only be accomplished through a childlike faith

Evil is all around us. I hate to say it, but it's true. Be aware, be on guard and be relentless in your pursuit of good. Some people don't like to talk about the dark side...or to give it much thought...and that's fine. But never, ever forget it is there...lurking around every corner...waiting until we slip or slumber or slide down the slippery slope of denial..straight into the arms of evil. Some political slam ads came in the mail today. The two candidates have launched an assault attack that is deadly. The war of words are sending out an evil energy that rivals any arsenal of weapons. You see-our words leave deep, painful wounds...which are often- much more damaging than physical attacks. And when those words come in the mail...countless innocent lives are affected. It began with one mean and twisted attack ad...then the retaliation...fiercely damaging...and then today...they blasted each other and the voters with anger driven accusations that have left me feelin

It rained hard today. I took my walk anyway. I had to shower afterwards, so it made sense to get wet. Is that nuts or what?! Sometimes I still like to break away from the norm...to walk in the rain-just because...to forgive someone--just because-I don't really want to...and to look optimistically to the future-just because the present isn't always so endearing. Broadening our horizons doesn't take any extra money or time or even talent...we simply need a giant leap of faith...in ourselves, in our instincts and in our inner voice. The voice that says the rain won't melt you or forgiveness is your greatest asset or optimism will open up a whole new world of opportunity. In fact, some brand new opportunities are unfolding rather quickly and I am actually a bit nervous...Nothing is almost safer than something-if you know what I mean. In fact, emptiness can be filled with grounding because too much of something can send us spiraling down a slippery slope. But that's when

God doesn't make broken people. It just doesn't happen that way. Sometimes we stumble, we fall, we break ... but God doesn't make us broken. Sometimes we try to fix what's not broken ... and that never works - because if it's not broken - you can't fix it. It's that simple. But, sometimes our brokenness -makes us see cracks and blemishes and problems in other people-and even in ourselves...that just aren't there. Sometimes what we see-isn't what we're accustomed to seeing--so we get scared...and we say some awful things....to the people we love...So sometimes, when that happens, we simply need to take a break...to sit back and let God do the work...with us, through us...and together---because that's the best way-the only sure fire way...to see clearly...what is broken and what is not. A woman I know said she failed her family. She never fit into their expectations. She never lived up to their hopes and dreams. She always felt...and still do

I called my kids in for dinner tonite..."Hurry-I poured the milk ...the cereal is going to get soggy!" They bounded through the door...and screeched-"Sushi!" "You're the best mom!" Big hugs-kisses...you know the drill...when they're thrilled...But can you imagine - over raw fish?! They were whispering to each other about their dinner desires... before we left the house this morning..."She'll never go for it." I heard them agree. They know we're on a budget...and besides...when did Sushi become the meal du jour?! On the take out menu no less?! When I was a kid-(here I go sounding like my dad) a McDonald's hamburger made me feel like Christmas had arrived early. As military brats we moved a lot -and that's really the only time I really remember getting take out dinner. What has happened to America? I guess I should ask- what has happened to American parents-like me? I used to over indulge...often...but those days are long go

Somewhere between here and eternity. That's life on earth. Life in this realm. A life worth living, until the next chapter...the final chapter...with the longest running repeat performance. It's California weather today-in Louisiana. I'll take it. Cool and breezy, sunny and warm...no humidity...no mosquitoes...the best of both worlds for as long as mother nature decides--to be kind. I drove four hours yesterday through the marshland, lush greenery and rolling hills of Louisiana and Mississippi...and I couldn't help but feel the transcendent quality of the gift that is our earth. It is like paradise...the peaceful feeling that wraps around you when the world outside is at its best. I absorbed the gentle warmth of nature's delicate embrace with an understanding of the intrinsic value that is this gift- from God. So much of our lives is wasted on wanting, wooing and wheeling and dealing. Slowing the pace, putting ourselves out there-in the midst of the real world -all

Meditation for the Day "Not until you have failed can you learn true humility. Humility arises from a deep sense of gratitude to God for giving you the strength to rise above past failures. Humility is not inconsistent with self-respect. The true person has self-respect and the respect of others and yet is humble. The humble person is tolerant of others' failings, and does not have a critical attitude toward the foibles of others. Humble people are hard on themselves and easy on others." To be humble is to be teachable. To put aside sensitivity, easily hurt feelings and laziness...to learn the life lessons-meant just for you. I personally don't believe in failure--accept as a stepping stone...to the next level...the next higher level...one step closer to learning what it is we were sent here to learn. Failure will lead us in one of two directions...to give up...or to get going...in the direction of God. Humility will guide us there...one step at a time. So the next ti

It's easy to go backward. But it's better to go forward. Turning back-in the direction we came from... feels safe, feels secure, feels familiar. But nothing we've ever done, needs to be repeated. The past is complete. Closure feels oddly funny. Feels like we're losing a part of ourselves. Looking forward- feels like we're letting go. We are. We are letting go-of the pain and the problems, the punishment and the imperfections. We are giving up that part of the past that jailed us like prisoners. We are seeing ourselves in a new light. Allowing ourselves to grow and prosper...to turn our tragedies into triumphs, our disappointments into divine gifts of growth. Reforming ourselves gets us ready for the right path...the next fork in the road...the one less traveled. The direction we take is limited by the temptation to turn ever so slightly around...to ponder from whence we came and where we may be going. So it is important to stay focused..in the now...to not stray...f

Medjugorje is an oasis of peace. Amid the kiosks and taxis, the gypsies and Americans-the restaurants and nightclubs...Medjugorje is a place of peace. The miracles, the visions, the messages from God caught me off guard and drew me in. I had to go there. I had to see for myself the spiritual fireworks that fueled this mesmerizing mystery. Somehow I had a feeling that I had been called there. That My yearning within- was heaven sent. That it was time for my life to move to the next level...one step closer to my designed destiny...to the purpose for which I had been picked, pruned and positioned. Of course, let's face it--we might have a feeling, but we never really see the future...if we did-we'd all run away...rebelling against the ridiculous nature of what we had seen...In fact-I can almost guarantee-I would have bolted for the hills...not of Medjugorje...but Colorado or Austria or anywhere but there. That in itself shows the unmitigated mercy of my higher power...never gives

Today was a good day-busy-but good. My 11 year old son ran fast...coming in fourth out of 199 kids in his cross country match. His school, Christian Brothers, came in first. My 19 year old who is away for a month...called and sounds great...his older brother Johnny--is working on some projects with me...Ben won his football game and Zack scored high on his test.... My women's meeting was funny and fun....and when I walked outside...a beautiful, full moon smiled upon me. And just now...a sweet elderly man from my AA group called-just to check on me... Some days it's the little things- that end up being the big things- that give us the most joy.... Otherwise known to me as the incredible highs and the incredible lows... Today was busy...But tonight...I sure feel good...and that's a feeling I've learned to treasure.

I found The Secret. Not the one on the Oprah Winfrey show. The other Secret. There is a fundamental truth in life. Your level of consciousness affects every aspect of your life...and is therefore the lifeblood of your soul's expression in this world. The essence of a life well lived is the authentic spiritual connection with the creator of all life...becoming similar- becoming spiritually connected...becoming soul mates. The Secret cautions us-that the essence of the creator is one of sharing-of giving in abundance. As members of creation...we are called to become like our creator...moving our mindset from wanting and getting -to giving and sharing. Maneuvering a mental shift in our consciousness and in the lives of millions of others who are living the secret will transform the world...slowly but surely -into a place of peaceful acceptance and unlimited possibilities. Michael Berg, the author of "The Secret" is a teacher rooted in the ancient wisdom known as Kabbalah. A

I can still see the vision clearly...vividly..poignantly. I don't know why I saw him. Why he came to me-or why it did not immediately rock my world. I can still feel the gnawing urge to turn around...As I lay there, on my stomach-it prodded me...beckoned me, "Turn around." There were no words, no sound....but I clearly felt a force, an energy that gently, yet relentlessly pursued me...Lifting my weary head in the dark night, I turned around. There--above my bedroom closet, the most beautiful vision of Christ. Translucent, ethereal. A soft, yet vibrant glow surrounding the kindest face I have ever seen-staring back at me-looking through me -deep into my soul. For years I kept silent about my visitor. A young teen doesn't quite know what to think when heaven comes a calling. Besides-who would believe me...and what would it really matter? I didn't understand it myself. In fact, I didn't think about it very much at all...not until that plane ride to Medjugorje. I

My son scored the winning touchdown. I screamed, the crowd cheered and we all let out a sigh of relief. 10 year old Zachary is a born athlete...walks, talks and thinks like a winner...and he loves every minute of the challenge. I'm thinking someday-he could be my meal ticket. As I watched him play--I couldn't help but think about the year from Hell. The same year he was born. In January while in Cuba reporting on the Pope's historic visit...I got a call that my dad had died suddenly--of a heart attack. What a shock... I made the arrangements, buried him and I got another surprising jolt...New life was stirring...inside me...I was pregnant with my fifth child...just five months after the birth of my fourth son. Wow-that came out of left field. Then--a few months later my 33 year old sister went into a coma just months after the birth of her second child...and she died a few days later of a brain aneurysm. We buried her just in time for the doctors to tell me there might be s

October appears to be my month. It marks the month I found my faith...half way around the world in Medjugorje...the month I almost died of alcohol poisoning, the month I won a major court battle...and now this month-the month my family-all five kids, their dad and myself began cleaning up the emotional mess left by years of neglect. There are probably other October milestones...but these are pivotal...and when I think about them-mind blowing. I have expectant faith that this month-this October-my October-will usher in a renaissance...guided by a spirit of unity and peace. I feel it in my bones...know it within my heart...because the voice of reason that often resonates the loudest--has somehow given way to an interior rollercoaster ride that is both exhilerating and serene...silently letting me know that God is is carefully guiding my life...to a brave, new, wonderful world. If you've been through as much as I have--you've learned to be patient...to be silent...and to listen fo

All Hell just broke out in my house. One kid tumbled on the stairs the other ran after him while the third one tried to referee the melee . My 14 year old lost his phone and the other two were moved to opposite zones...separated by their mom who lost her cool in all the commotion. I am working really hard to stay calm, cool and collected...like the beautiful easy, breezy Fall day outside...It's a challenge...in the after hours study hall...the natives are restless from the long hours at school and the exhausting sports practices. I tried not to blame any one child...the two youngest rug rats confessed last week that their older brother was taking the heat for things he didn't do--just because they cried the loudest...I guess their honesty is surprising ....but I wish they'd all surprise me with an hour or two of silence every night. That would be every mom's dream...quiet, docile children earnestly pouring over their homework with the same dedication and resolve that th

The floodgates opened as soon as I opened my mouth. I couldn't speak, I couldn't talk, I could only cry. Then the lady next to me started crying, then the next woman and the next until a cry fest started. Every bit of bottled up and buried emotions boiled over into the room and we all had a good cry of relief. It seems we walk around carrying a heavy burden of pain and disappointment--like superwomen flying through our daily chores and tasks and jobs thinking ourselves out of feelings. But they get the best of us- eventually, because like I always say what goes in must come out--and when it rains it pours. I used to be afraid of crying in public, or in front of anyone for that matter...I felt embarrassed and silly and stupid. I don't know why-but I guess I never learned that crying is a natural release of emotions-good or bad feelings...and it's in fact unnatural to hold them in...because that leads to some really unhealthy responses like resentment and anger and stress

The Hill of the Crosses is a landmark in Lithuania. A living symbol of the faith of a nation-tested by fire. Under communism believers planted crosses of every size and shape in the ground-until the entire hill had been transformed into a giant garden of crosses...Their sufferings had grown into a fertile field of faith. The communists hated the symbolism and bulldozed the hill over and over again, but each time the faithful re planted their crosses, proving that neither communism, or torture, or even death could destroy the faith of the people. Pope John Paul II visited the Hill and today still, newlyweds pray at the foot of the hill, seeking God's strength to carry their crosses...and for the faith to sustain their marriages. A painting of the Hill of the Crosses hangs in my home-as a reminder of my journey there and the documentary I produced about the unstoppable faith of the Lithuanian people. The lesson of their lives--lives on for the rest of us, who are struggling daily wit

The Serenity Prayer Reinhold Neibuhr God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen It is perhaps the most freeing prayer in the world-recited by countless individuals-seeking surrender, acceptance and the peace that comes from knowing that a higher power is perfecting our imperfections. My oldest son Johnny is having trouble accepting--many things...including the surrender when the stain of sadness lingers still...but I believe-that one day at a time- time will heal the wounds of division and strife that separates and divides one human being from another. It do

My car wouldn't start this morning. The kids and I rushed out of the door with school bags and football gear...but the clicker was dead...and so was the battery. Who knows how or why it happened...but it's every parents worse nightmare in the morning. What came next wasn't much prettier...we drove to school in my son's car--and that's being kind. The car has no rear view mirror. I couldn't believe it. But of course I could...because why would anyone need to see what's behind them when they are listening to a four hundred dollar sound system?! Chalk it up to age! I've seen it done a thousand times...maybe just a hundred...but-I've never actually jumped a battery. I did know that I didn't want to blow up the cars-so I searched the Internet for instructions...then hooked up the positive to the positive and the negative to the negative. Within seconds-the engine purred like new...and I was mildly proud of myself. Doesn't take much to please me th