Miracle Moments

At 5:15 p.m. the text read, "E.J. Hospital room 366 at 6pm there will be an AA meeting held for Dirty Harry. Please attend and forward this message. We shall show what AA Love is." I dropped everything, hopped into the car, drove across town and walked straight into the arms of pure, unbridled Love. At first only a handful of people showed up, but within a matter of minutes, forty people had packed into a an ICU hospital room, for fellowship and Loving support. It must have been surreal for Dirty Harry to be laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to heart monitors surrounded by a sea of compassionate men and women--some of whom he'd never met. But that's the thing about this group, you never meet a stranger-disease and deliverance-are the ties that bind. We read from the daily reflections and the big book before sharing our experience, strength and hope. I must say, for me it felt like deja vu...bringing me back to an experience I had in Lithuania. Gathered in a small ro...

I attended a women's meeting last night, held at a Jewish Synagogue, Temple Sinai, on St. Charles Avenue. I'd never been to this meeting, but something drew me there...inspired me to drive my car uptown-instead of downtown in the direction I had planned on going. Before the meeting started, I timidly entered the chapel and I knelt in the silence-with no expectations-just a feeling of wonder and childlike acceptance. As my eyes wandered around the sanctuary, I felt the enormous power of God. It was uncanny, soaking in such unexpected, yet inspiring strength through the silence of my heart. I don't remember ever being inside a Jewish Temple...but these days my memory is on overload-so who knows for sure. It doesn't really matter-what matters is that I could feel God's presence there...my God, the God that created each and every one of us-the God who designed the Tree of Life. An abundance of grace carried me upstairs to my meeting along with a giddy awareness that I h...

While I cook dinner, my two youngest sons do homework at the kitchen table. As we chatted last night, my ll year old Jacob, told us about a classmate whose mom had died. Without missing a beat, my 10 year old Zachary said, "I couldn't take it if I didn't have my mom." I looked at him-with surprise..."Really-why?" Dumb question I guess-but the reporter in me always wants to understand the what and the why. Zachary replied, "Because you Love me and help me and you're always there for me and you never let me down." Wow! I smiled and thanked him for his vote of confidence. And then I shuddered, at the thought, that I had almost died...I came really close to death...because of the disease of alcoholism. But I am grateful for the way my life has turned out...I am grateful that I am listening and learning from my kids...the truly important lessons of life-the ones I've been trying to teach them-the ones they are apparently learning. The lessons of...

One of my sons had a meltdown today-but I didn't really know why...Of course I understood where he was coming from, but-why now...?! My friend, a counselor, simply said, --"old tapes." "He's playing old tapes in his head. It will take a while to turn them off." That makes sense. How many times do we let mental movie pictures of our memories stir up fear and confusion...sending us stumbling right back to where we came from...unpleasantville?! How many times do we let the re-runs, run wild in our minds--making us crazy with anger all over again?! Too many times. It's disturbing, debilitating and down right dumb to continue reviewing the same old stories over and over again...That's why every story has a beginning and an ending. So I for one, try to remember, that my life is my story-and I get to write it...Maybe not all of it... But I know that I'm in charge of the mental images that linger long after the tape runs out... There isn't enough tim...

All my concerns-collapsed into oblivion -when I saw my friend today at 8a.m. mass. There she stood-her pretty bald head dressed in a sporty cap. Tears filled my eyes as I watched her praying...trusting in God. You see-my beautiful friend has cancer. A few months ago, in this very same church, she shared the news...and her unwavering belief-that she would be healed. Today, as our eyes met across the aisles she whispered, "I have something big to tell you!" "The tumor is gone." Later she told me her doctor says it is nothing short of miraculous...a miracle made in heaven but prayed for here on earth. God's way of letting us know-that he is listening. She beamed when she showed me that she was wearing the flower stick pin I had given her a few weeks before. I saw the retro daisy pin in an antique shop and felt drawn to buy it. Something told me to give it to her at Mass one morning...and when I did, I told her God wanted her to know that after every winter-there ...

I sat in front of a firing squad this week, but the bullets they fired were hollow. And as my insightful son Jacob declared, I was wearing a bullet proof vest...the armor of God. As I sat there-fielding a bizarre barrage of ill conceived and banal questions-I felt sad...for the would be executioners. Covering up their mess is more important to them, than mending their broken promises. It is the stuff of wars...emotional, verbal and physical assaults-launched by the spiritually wounded. Sad stuff...that gets more insidious with every round that is fired. Prayer-is the best weapon of defense. The antagonist doesn't see it coming...but somehow they know something is circulating...something powerful and bold...and beyond any one's control. I don't like war, but I do believe in defending what is right...because sometimes your life-and the lives of others-like my five children- depend on it. My father, the Air Force soldier, who dedicated his life to serving this country-taught m...

I have learned, over the last year- not to react. It is perhaps the greatest mistake we make as humans. Acting on impulse-reacting--to another's actions-or circumstances that are beyond our control. I am learning to sit back and watch, while others quickly destroy themselves. I watch as they repeat the same behaviors over and over again...reacting to the fear within that comes from their own pain, their own feelings of persecution and the private pity party they attend on a daily basis. I learned a long time ago, that the really Holy people, say very little, they defend themselves even less. Deep within they know--that steady patience produces time insulated serenity, and that bears greater fruit-than all the justifications and slick talking charm -that so many people use to play with other peoples lives. I met an old friend Stacy, today at the grocery. Our long overdue hello ran into overtime as we took a stroll down memory lane and reviewed the possibilities for a faith inspired ...

Trying to concentrate tonight in my home is like trying to tune out an entire schoolyard of laughing children. I'm caring for my friends two oldest sons -who are playing with my two youngest sons-up and down the stairways and hallways and rooms that we live in, laugh in and love so very much. I try to remember at times like these, that the giddy sounds of children, are the musical notes of the future...Rhapsodic songs of wonder and joy...that promise a springtime of renewal for all the world to enjoy. I know that I am blessed and gifted with the chance to see clearly the true value of my life and theirs...The true gifts of heaven showered down upon my personal domain...so many moons ago when I did not understand or appreciate the primal value of the extension of my life through my children. There is no greater grounds for happiness or hope or heavenly delight. And even now, after I have calmed their spirits and re-focused their energy to that quiet existence known as, the couch pot...

Love and Tolerance... Mercy and compassion... If the good Lord taught me anything those would be at the top of my list. Under persecution he did not fold...under ridicule he did not rant...under crucifixion he did not condemn...There is no greater example than -the witness of Love in the face of death. Whenever you are faced with difficulties, persecution or disappointment...face the cross and you will find your resurrection...the strength to redeem the wrongs, the joy in finding new freedom. Peace is the gift that comes with the Love...So Love, even when it hurts...or they hurt...Love when you can't take it anymore...Always remember, there is no greater healing power than the Love that comes from above...straight into our hearts...and given freely to others... Genuine, authentic Love-a supernatural windfall...your gift-to be enjoyed and shared, unconditionally...with complete abandon...in union with God.

Tonight, I will pray for those-who hurt others... That they will end the hatred and unforgiveness... That crucifies the life within... Learning to let go and let God... To surrender our will to a higher power... is the only answer. God is waiting...before the pain is put to the pen... And the imprint sealed in the annals of history-for the rest of time... Let go-while there is still time and tenderness-- Let go and let God- do the rest.

If you are suffering-know that you are Loved... If you are lonely-know that someone cares... If you are desperate-know that hope springs eternal... If you are scared know that heaven is watching over you... If you are alive...and feeling anything at all...there is a purpose to your life...a destiny awaiting your arrival. Along this path where- you have been placed--from the moment of your conception-in the blink of an eye, your image has mirrored a multitude of amazing possibilities-made possible because of your timeless value-because of your life. We sometimes forget, or maybe we forfeit-the chance to live life to its fullest, free to fly with wings that soar, to limitless heights, high above our expectations...simply because others dismiss us...because they leave us behind-in the dust of their follies, futile and false to the core. But soar anyway-because that's what you have been designed to do...to soar, higher than heaven's pearly white gates...to fly straight into the arm...

Researching material for a book I'm writing...I came across the messages of the Blessed Mother in Medjugorje. They call her the Queen of Peace-the mother of recovery...who came on a white cloud begging humankind to turn back to God...to surrender their will...to practice their faith...before we destroy ourselves and one another. My favorite message has always seemed- simply- profound...It goes something like this "God has a special role for you in his plan of salvation, but to understand that role...you must pray." Another urges "Peace in our hearts, peace in our homes and then we can spread peace throughout the world." For those of us who have been to Medjugorje, and those who have not, but who still believe...the messages are meant to be lived by us...every single second of every single day. But sometimes, life gets in the way of our good intentions...in the way of our faith...in the way of our destiny--Life gets in the way, because we let it...we let go of Go...

I hear a lot of painful stories from people. I heard some of them today. At the heart of their pain, very often, is betrayal and rejection. I know that pain all too well. And I know how debilitating it can feel. But over time I have learned that at the core of betrayal- is a lie. Those who betray others, first have to convince themselves of a lie...that they have been formulating, cultivating and engineering over time. By the time they betray-they come to believe their lie and so the lie takes on a life of its own...seductively drawing in others who unwittingly participate in fostering the same lie, until even more lives fall into the evil snare of betrayals painful poison. Those who betray often use half truths or intimate details of an individuals life to gain power and control over them and to push them over the edge into a swarming sea of controversy and confusion. It is a sadly insidious scenario, hearing what people willfully do to harm others-in order to help themselves. It is a...

We have a hit! Chef Johnny fed his brew of brothers tonight-Amatriciana.. I think that's the name... A dish he learned in Italy...after Hurricane Katrina swept through-and he flew away with his friends. Monday nights have become our anointed family meal time-when everyone gets together to break bread and bone up on our lives when we're apart. Our family counselor suggested a designated meal hour- dedicated to the family for bonding and budding relationships. Time to talk and to share...to joke and to laugh-while enjoying some good old fashioned cooking. It's not rocket science or psycho ground breaking--it's simply what families are supposed to do...to stay connected and concerned and to cultivate the unions we often take for granted. I was surprised when my oldest son called today-to remind me of our family date...and to suggest that he cook...He and his 19 year old brother had been to a concert the night before...and were looking forward to the-in house adventure. Som...

"Only scarred lives can really save. You cannot escape the discipline. It is the hallmark of discipleship. My children trust Me always. Never rebel." God Calling This message is a message for the world. Our challenges and our crosses-carry us-and others through us...to a higher level. We cannot escape the schooling...we cannot avoid the homework...we are here to learn the most valuable lessons that this life has to offer-before moving on to a place where our lessons are lived to the fullest. We often measure our lives by our accomplishments--but God measures our lives, by our Love. Love your life-with all its many colors-and God will give you everything you ever dreamed of-and more than you ever imagined.

They talk alot about God in AA. Sometimes-I smile. Sometimes-I roll my eyes. And sometimes-I think "What?!" But-then I catch myself...because anytime anyone is talking about God-that's good...really good. Some of these people never even thought about a higher power-before they entered recovery...and some of those who already have faith--need to kick it up to the next level. Addiction seems to be the one disease that is pre- destined to teach people about the power of God...and how a faith in a higher power-can save lives. There's something about actively choosing to surrender to God instead of a substance-- that gives a person the courage to take back possession of their sanity...from the insanity of addiction. I've heard story after story after inspiring story...and it never ceases to amaze me-how strongwilled people-can lose utter control--of their lives to a drink or a drug, or shopping or sex or stealing or any number of obssessive, compulsive desires...But ...

Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes things are out of our control. Sometimes trying to control, we make bad choices. Surrender it all-from the core of your being... Then make the next best choice-the healthy choice... and eventually-Life will happen exactly as it should... and you will be cooperating-with the natural ebb and flow... And only good will follow-each and every decision you make. Each and every day-of your life.

It was a beautiful evening...cool and crisp...a soft sunlight settling across the city. It felt as though the world was at peace...serenely calm... I enjoyed the gift...sitting on my step, sipping a warm cup of coffee...watching my kids shoot hoops -before diving into their homework. It's the stuff of life...It's life at its best...It makes me wonder why we are so restless... Why we want more--when what we really need and enjoy-is right here...with us...willing us to see and to understand. When I witnessed the miracle of the sun...for the first time, in Medjugorje...I understood the depth of peace and surrender and unbridled faith...I clearly saw the world through a rainbow of color...through waves of pure light...that rippled across the sky with a boldly enticing message--that God exists and we exist in the purity of pleasure that a power greater than we can ever imagine-has enjoyed creating. Never underestimate that power--to give you everything you need...in a sunrise or a s...

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Mahatma Gandhi It's funny-I don't think mainstream society teaches us that forgiveness is a strength. In fact, we're lead to believe just the opposite. The weak give in--the strong stay the course...even when that course is paved with the land mines of self destruction. I've come to believe that true forgiveness starts--when we can first-forgive ourselves. When we continue beating ourselves up, over and over again, the self flagellation festers open wounds that seep out into every single relationship we encounter. How can a battered and bruised individual be any good for anybody? They can't. Making peace with numero uno is essential to making peace with others. But that's a tall order. Most of us-have at one time or another-been embarrassed about our humanity...our sinfulness...our unhealt...

My five sons-are amazing! We rounded out our 12 week counseling session-with warmth and understanding--a few laughs and a few jabs...but more emotionally mature then when we entered three months before. I admire them for their sharing, their introspection and their willingness to dig deep into that emotional core where we all hide our feelings, our fears and our future hopes. They gave of themselves and got so much more in return...and for that I am grateful. We are not and never will be the run of the mill family...like- My three Sons or Seventh Heaven. But we are special, uniquely gifted...and absolute survivors. We've made it through our own personal Hurricanes with a strength and a steadfast determination that doesn't always happen in families...Because we are communicating honestly and openly...accepting our humanness in the midst of our struggles and always knowing that God is right there with us...every step of the way...guiding and protecting and putting our best intere...

Sometimes-the best gifts are wrapped in the warm embrace-of a special -unexpected-friend. She lives on the other side of this great big U.S. of A....near the shores of one of the most beautiful coastlines you'll ever lay your eyes upon...But it feels like she is right here beside me. She is thoughtful and kind, supportive and serene...always seeing what is needed-when I need it the most...Quietly gifted with a calm and a fortitude and a will that won't let go-even when she gets the urge...She is always there, moving through the minefields with grace and humility...never giving up-even when the worst keeps getting in the way. I wonder sometimes why God has been so good to me...to send me this friend...this joyful addition to my family...a sister who says what she feels and means what she says...I pray for her health and her inspiration...and for her patience and fortitude as she continues along the path that God has designed for her...Because so many are the beneficiaries...Her...

What a difference a year makes! 365 days, one day at a time...the clock keeps ticking...and time always tells. Tick tock, the clock never stops... We grow up...or we just grow old...we give it up or we just get down...we let go...or we lose control...Nothing ventured, nothing gained...try as we may...we can't hold on to the worthless habits-without hurting ourselves... Who would have predicted--who would have thought...that worn out welcomes could be renewed and refreshed and even seem normal again? That's the power of God...getting things straight, writing straight with crooked lines-just long enough to create a miraculous masterpiece. The spirit is always flowing...even when we are floundering...The spirit is ready to sweep away the bitter wreckage...and wipe away the powerful pain. Only a fool fails the lesson over and over again...because-there is always hope and happiness and a holiday waiting to happen! At our home-the most unexpected guests have shown up...and stayed awh...

Resolutions are really about- getting it right. Re-evaluating our wrongs, realizing our resentments-and removing the roadblocks to the rEvolution of our souls. Setting ourselves straight-sometimes takes self discipline...and we find ourselves repeating the same resolutions over and over again. But, somehow...remembering year after year, leads to a subtle yearning within...to cling to the promise...to hold fast to the belief...that resolutions are key to resolving conflict and pain...to promoting peace and understanding...and the gift that leads to a sensational spiritual high -that illuminates the conscience and spotlights the soul. So-whatever you've resolved to retain...or re write- or run with this year...remember...that your resolution--is now written within your heart and etched into the roadmap to your future. So if you really want to get it right... relinquish your power and your control--to the realization that every New Year-is a reminder of new beginnings--a promise of ne...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! MADE IT! MAKE IT GOOD! MANY BLESSINGS!