REMOVING RESENTMENTS

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"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Malachy McCourt

As I sat in a meeting the other day, I listened to a man who proudly proclaimed, "I am a recovering Catholic." He was also a recovering alcoholic...more than 20 years sober. As I listened to his story, I wondered why he was still angry about something that happened to him 50 years ago. I wondered why the words of a priest, still haunted him...and why he still had not let go of his longstanding resentments. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, because the weight of one man's words, still bound him five decades later...Their negative energy still robbed him of the levity that comes with letting go and letting God...And in this man's case, had robbed him of the belief in a universal God of Love.

I hear a lot of so called "recovering Catholics" in AA and I always wonder what's missing in their lives...and how they could have missed the basic principles of the 12 step program. A program that helps purge people of their emotional pain...by putting their pain in proper perspective. But more than anything, their stories inspire me to take a hard look at my own life...and the possible roadblocks of resentments that may be blocking my personal renewal.

I shared with the group that my children and I had been hurt deeply by members of a religious institution...that at least two of my kids have lost their trust and their respect...for this church...and that I had taken a short sabbatical to figure things out. But I let them in on my special, spiritual secret...Amid all the heartache and pain...the betrayal and rejection...God had revealed to me...the essence of his truth...and the truth about my life...and he asked me to never again let others rob me of my relationship with him. That I should never give away my personal power, my higher power to others.

As I did a searching moral inventory of my life, God clearly called me back to communal prayer in the Church that I Love, with other hurting souls...People like me, who are asking for healing, for guidance and for a clearer understanding of the purpose of their lives...By trusting in God, God could begin trusting in me...and together we could begin putting my life and the lives of my children, back together.

As I looked around the room, as the others stared at me trying to understand...I simply told them to let down their guard, to open up their hearts, and to let God in...Because I knew, from my life experiences, that when we let God in...when he is driving our lives...We are always headed in the right direction...even when the road ahead is a little bumpy or when others try to derail our journey.

So remember, God absolutely exists..we absolutely exist for a divine purpose...and no one--and no resentment--should ever be allowed to come between us.

Comments

Diane L. Harris said…
I'm so glad you were able to share your story of faith with your group. Spiritual healing is often the hardest of all.
April 23, 2009
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