Miracle Moments

I listened to a man last night, who had been healed of his loneliness. I listened to a priest today, who offered the ultimate healing. And I marveled at the synchronicity of their stories. The gentleman had escaped his loneliness, escaped his feelings inside a bottle. He spent years drowning in the false hope that seduced him into a submissive serenity, every time he poured himself a drink. Eventually, his serenity turned to shame and regret, at all the wasted hours wallowing in the self destruction that pours forth from our open wounds. The priest talked about the division of spirit that leaves us broken, hurting, wounded and wasting away. The emptiness that comes from not knowing who we are, because we do not fully understand who God is...or the master plan that has been written for our lives. 14 years sober, the gentleman began healing inside the womb of AA...in the warm embrace of maternal Love that is freely given every time a meeting is held. As a man he surrendered to the encour...

My son Jacob came running to me, "Mom, Ben took my psa and hid it." (That's a game system) "Tell him to give it back to me!" His younger brother, Zachary, warned, "No, don't say anything...he'll get mad and think you are always blaming him...just tip toe through the tulips-up the stairs, into his room and look in the basket where he told me he hid it." I laughed. But being the pro I am, I told both of them I had it under control. "Who has seen the psa-I need it to play my movie this weekend...which one of you took it--it was just there a little while ago? Jacob, Zack...how about you Ben? The next thing I know, Ben's telling me where it is and no one is the wiser...except Zack and Jake who are quite impressed. It doesn't always go that smoothly. But when it does-I am oh so grateful...Not that I wouldn't gladly tip toe through the tulips--which by the way-Zack's heard me say a zillion times...I don't think he knows about ...

"God who is Father, but especially mother." Pope John Paul I The maternal face of God. The masculine-and the feminine. God who is spirit, is revealed through his son...but through his mother, Mary, we see the feminine side of God. The masculine bears the rational, the judgemental...while the feminine reveals the relational--encouraging, present and loving. As I listened to Fr. Jose Lavastida lead the novena to St. Ann, I knew I had been called there... to embrace more completely, what has been carried in my heart...That the God man-the Jesus that I have come to love-is more fully understood in the feminine-as expressed through Mary. The feminine as the paradigm- draws us closer to God...through the connectivity of our relationships...which inspire a deeper understanding of the meaning and the purpose of our lives. There is nothing unusual or outrageous about this explanation...It all makes perfect sense...if we look in the mirror. As...

My friend is in Iraq, in the middle of nowhere, sleeping on a cot inside a tent. She gets two hot meals a day and none on Sunday. Go figure. Serving our nation, saving lives -seems to me like she's earned three square meals a day. But, in time of war, nothing makes sense. Mary Jo is a doctor in the good ole U.S. Army. An oncologist who, as I understand it, is one of the best in her field. Getting to know her, I do know that she is one of the best human beings you will ever meet. When I read her e-mail today it brought back memories of my military upbringing and my own Army brother who has selflessly served our nation for the past 25 years. I'm proud to be called a military brat, proud of my brother and proud to know my friend. A part of me wants to be with Mary Jo-where the action is-where most people never want to go. To be making a difference in one of those God forsaken time zones where every day life doesn't always make sense. I understand her sacrifice and the sacrific...

My friend's husband had relinquished his life support and prepared for death... But then-he did an about face. He faced the fact that his life had too much going for it... The wife and the kids and the family and the sense of purpose and the obviously strong sense of humor-all bundled up into a little peace of heaven-right here on earth. He had it all...and he wasn't prepared to give it away-not just yet. So, they hooked him back up to the life giving machines...the ones we humans have engineered to keep the heart pumping and the life flowing- through our veins. You see-sometimes just when we let go, that's exactly when we need to hang on -just a little bit longer...because sometimes- that's the exact moment for a miracle. It doesn't zap you in the face or face down all the fear and anxiety immediately...It's that moment of clarity when we know that something amazing is taking place...when we mirror St. Paul...using God's empowering grace to embrace human si...

It's Mardi Gras and that makes this mom-a mental case. I lost the love of parades long ago...after hours of standing around in crowds doing live shots for the television news. Those crazy, hazy days of wandering through the streets of New Orleans looking for a new twist to a an old, predictable story-are gone. Now, I'm on my knees, praying hard for the safe return of my two eldest sons as they wander through the biggest free party on earth, in what has become one of the most dangerous cities in the country. Kids of course are invincible. Nothing can touch them. Even I knew that as a kid. In fact, Mardi Gras, enticed me to come study in New Orleans. My Louisiana girlfriend, Anita Byrd, who attended the Missisisippi University for Women with me, drove us into the city that care forgot and I forgot all about the "W"...We both transferred to Loyola University...and the rest is history. Like my sons, I was insanely fearless...getting a part time job in the wee hours of the...

Sometimes serenity is all about the silence. Sitting back, quietly listening... and in the silence hearing God. Slowing down long enough- to catch up with ourselves. Making peace with our lives- by quieting our minds. Silence-is golden- because that's when we hear God- Loud and clear, but ever so softly.

My sons and I pray together every morning as we drive to school. As a single mom, I find prayer is the most potent platform for sharing my values and what I value most. We give thanks for all our blessings including the beautiful new day. We ask our Guardian angels to watch over us and those we Love. We pray for the sick and the suffering and for the special intentions of the heart. And then we pray for the healings of the heart. For specific individuals who are broken and wounded and overcome with self will. We ask for the inspiration and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to guide them, and us, to the peaceful serenity that only comes after we have surrendered ourselves fully to the God of our understanding. We name names...and at first my kids were surprised at the names that popped out of my mouth...But time, patience and prayer has inspired them with the understanding that God is at work in their mother's life. That somehow, probably through prayer, she has been able to let go and ...

RUGBY. Every parent's personal nightmare. They bite, they kick, they push and they jump on top of each other. They also get away with it. It's an acceptable ritual among the tough guys. Go figure! I thought football was rough. A few years ago, I was glad when my eldest son quit High School football. But then he joined the rugby team and I faced a whole new set of fears. Now my third son has traded the football for the rugby ball and the nervous breakdown begins anew. I find myself yearning for the great American sport. I miss the helmets and the knee pads and the mouth guards and the rules. My how things change! Now football has never been my thing-unless one of my sons played. My dad was a crazy fan just like most American men. But my German mom thought the game was nuts. I can still hear her chanting, "Those crazy Americans running around a big field throwing a ball and knocking each other down. And people watch them and holler?!" I have to admit, to an alien, the g...

It's funny how we forget things. I guess our overloaded brains naturally dispense some memories to the far corners of the mind, until we need to recall them. Those memories pop up at the oddest times. As I typed my book today, it suddenly dawned on me, that I'd forgotten about the Sally Jesse Raphael Show. Two decades ago she hosted a popular, syndicated talk show much like Oprah. One day Sally and her husband were at the New Orleans television studio where I worked...and I immediately sought them out and launched into a passionate conversation about the Miracles in Medjugorje. My co worker, Jim Bailey, and I urged her to tape a show with some of the people who were miraculously converted there. She stunned me by asking us to be on the show. I told her, "No, no not us-you need to get some of the pilgrims." But she knew a good story when she heard it and she talked us into traveling to Chicago to tape a live national show with another convert, a newspaper man, Wayne We...

The house is alive again. My kids are back after a weekend with their dad. It's funny, I miss them when they're gone...they say they miss me...and we are only separated four days a month. We are spiritually connected by the bonds of faith in God and in one another. We know we will always be there for each other-no matter how difficult the challenge or obstinate the force. We have faced the worst of what life has brought our way and we have emerged stronger and bolder and a bit more sassy. In the silence of the hours when they are away, I realize more fully how important they are to me...how important our family is to our individual survival and to the legacy that we will leave to this life. You see, I've had it all...the fame, the fortune, the misfortune, the failures, the false friendships and the frivolous feelings. But the one constant, the consistent consolation that endears itself to me-is my family...fundamentally fueled by faith and Love and the wonderful words that ...

My girlfriend today told me she had a vision. She slung the cross back at Jesus and said, "Take it I don't want it anymore." We laughed. So, I told her about the time a priest, Fr. Bill McCarthy prayed over me during the dissolution of my marriage...and he said, "Let's see what Jesus has to say to you." The next words were, "Mary Lou you are never alone. I am your one true spouse." I thought big deal...that's not good enough. I want my marriage to work out! I told her, "Can you imagine me thinking and saying that Jesus wasn't good enough, I wanted my husband who didn't want me." How crazy is that?! Again we laughed. We can laugh about it now, because we know just how far we've come. We can see how silly our humanity can be...in the face of pure divinity. Terri and I talked about how God is giving us a goal...acceptance which includes surrender which inevitably means trust. It is not an easy goal to reach because we want wh...

Valentine's Day isn't just for Lovers. My kids surprised me today with a dozen red roses. My old news buddy, now a big wig with the Fox News Edge in N.Y.C., took me to dinner and we talked about our Loves-our children, his wife, and our lives 25 years later. My girlfriend called me and told me "you are Loved!" Another friend sent me an e-mail card...my siblings sent their Love... And so tonight I thought about what I'd done. I brought my children's grandmother one of my roses...and at Mass I prayed for everyone I know...and those who are suffering...and then I prayed for a surprising someone. I saw her face as she walked down the aisle--and she was looking down...and for the first time-I felt her woundedness in the face of her humanity...and I felt badly for her....and asked God to give her the Love she needs to heal her heart and her soul. And I thanked God for this gift of seeing through a new lense...of learning to Love God enough, to want to Love those-I h...

Silver medals-like the bobbsey twins-they both placed second- in their grades. Last night my sixth grader, Jacob, medaled on speech night with "The boys I went to School with." Tonight, my fifth grader, Zachary, won with "Let her have it!" Who would have thought they'd both win?! But-oh how relieved I am! (and proud!) Jake informed me days ago, that he'd not only make speech night-but that he would win a medal. Such confidence for the struggling academic. Self esteem is not in short supply. Thank you God. Zachary was more hopeful...but as I watched him prepare-I thought, "he's funny, expressive-he's got a shot." I was thrilled when they called both their names. I'm smiling...because-self confidence is so important in this world of ours...It's hard for adults, much less children, to stand in front of an audience and talk...so when my kids have the nerve and the moxy and the hut spa to show their stuff -front and center-I'm ...

The cashier at the grocery said, "I knew it was you even before I saw the name on the check. We have someone famous here!" Then later, a woman I met from Poland, knew my entire TV history. She was glad she ran into me, because she couldn't figure out where I'd gone. I smiled. It's been two years since I've worked in television...but I guess my 25 year career has left an impression. I will say-I've enjoyed the "feeling" of anonymity...of not being recognized at every turn, or watched and prodded at every event. There's something nice about melting into the scenery-or at least thinking you can. I attended a spiritual conference a couple of weeks ago, and hard as I tried to stay in the background-I kept getting pushed into the foreground. Once a star always a star--albeit-sometimes rising, sometimes falling. I remember two decades ago, when I left the secular news media for a TV job in the spiritual realm, I worried about losing my identity. So ...

I heard a homily recently about St. Agnes-that has left me wondering about man's inhumanity. I squirmed in my seat, covered my face and held my breath as the story grew worse. It seems St. Agnes lived a chaste life-so her tormentors rolled her naked body over coals, before cutting off her breasts and then serving them on a platter at a banquet. They say she died for her faith beliefs, but I believe she died because sometimes people do evil things-because they are unquestionably, driven by evil. There is absolutely no sane reason for heinous torture or the awful aftermath. The priests story brought me back to the war in Bosnia. Fighting erupted while I was taping a documentary in Poland and Romania. Since my crew and I were relatively close by, we considered flying to Bosnia to cover the outbreak of the war. But as fate would have it...the new airline tickets would have cost us several thousand dollars extra...far too much money...and so we went home as planned. Sitting at th...

I felt helpless today-trying to help someone. A young woman staggering down the street. I saw her this morning in downtown New Orleans, after dropping my son off for work. On a lonely, desolate stretch of Canal Street, she tripped then fell into a pile of debris...cement and mortar and steel...the demolished remains of a high rise building. I circled back to see if she was hurt....She was drunk, maybe high...obviously troubled. She asked for a ride home...but as we drove, it became apparent she couldn't remember where she was going and she didn't really want to go there-wherever that was. As she cursed her boyfriend she showed me the burn on her neck, from his cigarette butt...I urged her to go to a battered women's shelter, but she refused...and I didn't know what to do. Skin and bones, her skimpy clothes hung from her like rags...her teeth were dark and chipped...But her brown eyes were large and pretty--and they sparkled when she spoke about her 2 year old son, who l...

My friend, Mary Jo, shipped out this week-for Iraq. For the next 90 days she'll be doing what doctors do best in the Army-taking care of the sick and suffering and the soldiers who serve our great nation. I'm so proud of her-and proud of others like her-others like my brother-who have willingly given of themselves-so the rest of us can be ourselves...free to run our lives in a democratic society-that gives us a chance to make our own way-even when we don't know which way to go. Serving in the Armed Forces-is a challenging way of life. Believe me-this military brat knows from whence she cometh. But I can honestly tell you-that despite the sacrifices, the obstacles and the uncommon way of life--I am proud to be counted among the children of career military men and women. In the book I'm writing about my life's escapades, I climb aboard the merry go round ride that was my life as a kid growing up in the Air Force. As I wander down memory lane, I wonder at how countless...

"Don't keep God waiting." Sage words of wisdom from my son Jacob. "He gave you the book and he wants you to finish it." Fine. I spent much of this week writing and re-writing much of the passages...adding and subtracting and remembering and trying to recall...and all in all it felt good-to continue the story and get past the half way mark into the final stretch-of my life as it stands now. I began writing my book over a year ago...and I've waltzed in and out of it since then... The first few pages poured out easily and set the stage, letting me know that I was writing what God intended me to write..that this story had been inspired by a power greater than my pen...or rather my computer. I write much better when I type...I guess I think through my fingers. Writing can be an art, it can also be good therapy...and it can also gauge just how in touch we are with the words on the pages. I've slowed down at various points...worked my way through personal issue...

Your faith and God's power...nothing else is needed. To accomplish your task-to reach your goals-to fulfill your destiny... You and God-that's all it takes. Sometimes our obstacles are--only in our mind...and so sometimes our mind--is the only obstacle. Clearing up the confusion-is as simple as letting go...and letting God. And so tonight, before the lights go out...I will pray for the truth that comes with surrender, the serenity that follows our walk of faith and the acceptance that whatever comes my way-has been planned for me-long before I took my first breath... Your life-and mine-are in the hands of a power more phenomenal than we will ever comprehend in this lifetime... So sit back and relax, enjoy the ride and get ready for the best-that is yet to come!

I arrived a little early and sat down next to a young woman cradling her three week old baby girl. She said her infants dad is in jail...facing a long prison term for dealing drugs and stealing other people's possessions. She told me she loves him, but she won't go back to him unless he gets clean-for good. This young woman is also trying to clean up her act...to give up drinking and drugs and the things that people do to get their next fix...She is an addict...in recovery...living in a half way house with other women and their children...women like her who have left behind a life of hell--because their lives and their children's lives depend on it. I accepted an invitation to speak to these women...about recovery...rehabilitation and re-directing their lives...Sharing my story, I shared a piece of the puzzle that is so confusing to people in early recovery...Making peace with their disease, is the first step toward healing their broken lives. The women shared their stories...