Miracle Moments

The last couple of weeks have been rough. Things kept going wrong, challenges kept coming and I was continually blindsided by the unexpected. I could name everything, but in the end, what happened doesn't really matter so much. How I coped, does. I scrambled to find solutions, but the doors kept slamming in my face. Every time I thought I had one problem licked, I got the wind knocked out of me and had to start all over again. So I hung on, asked for help and prayed for the wisdom and the power of the Holy Spirit to do God's will and not my own. I hung on tight, because as I've said before, just when you want to let go, that's when the miracle is about to happen. Walking through the desert of uncertainty is a scorching experience...Feeling alone, is a human weakness...Clinging to the God we cannot see is a test of our faith. I moaned countless times, cried incessantly-slept very little, but in the end-I made it through the darkest hours and into the dawning light. As a ...

Some special women I pray with every week surprised me with an amazing Christmas gift. Delivered by the ring leader of Santa's little do gooder elves. I have been thinking about their kindness since last Friday evening when the delivery team arrived at my home and the true meaning of Christmas came alive. The richness of their gift really lies in the ladies themselves...Full of Love and laughter, faith and hope...They are brimming with the kind of humble faith that is infectious...As I sit in our circle of prayer, listening to their comments, watching their faces and feeling their joy-and their pain...I am gratified at being a part of this community of honesty, that is honestly inspiring a sincere devotion to all the things that really matter in this life and in the next. The spirit of the Christmas season is all about the gift of life that gave us eternal life...The birth of a Savior who saved us from our selfishness by seeing to it that we saw in him the sensational spirit of unc...

As we walked outside our home tonight, my ten year old Zack says, "Look at the beautiful light coming through the trees!" I walked straight into it and said, "Beam me up Jesus!" Didn't happen...but a girl can hope. I could have used a short vacation upstairs for a refresher course in what it's all about Alfie...But I settled instead for a quick trip to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel with my youngest son. We sit against the wall, I pray, he studies...He prays, I pray...and we snuggle in the warm embrace of this safe and serene cenacle of prayer. It's a wonderful gift-living so close to this sanctuary. Zack and I have become regulars...Reveling in the quiet...absorbing the energy...and Loving the simple, soulful sunshine. It rained hard all weekend...flooded my car, and tons of other cars and homes and businesses-once again...But-we prayed for blessings received...not challenges delivered, because sometimes trials and tribulations come our way...but God al...

It isn't so much that she bore the baby Jesus...That he quietly entered her womb...and then slipped into the world much like sunshine slips through the clouds. It's just that-she said yes, even when she faced the unknown, the odds were against her and man's rules had been broken. This young girl, conceived without sin, would save the rest of us a lot of pain and suffering, by simply saying yes. She would become the new Eve while her son would become the new Adam...and together, they would change the face of humankind, from here to eternity. But imagine never having the stain of original sin...Never feeling the same judgements or outrageous indignation-even when your son is being horribly crucified. It is a lot to comprehend...especially for the rest of us, who see the world through a foggy lens-our sinful nature. Today-the day Catholics attend Mass, to celebrate the Immaculate Conception...It's a subject worth examining...Because whether you believe it or not...It's...

Our eyes met as she rolled her husband into the basketball game...I smiled, mouthing the words, "He looks great." Nearly a year ago a tragic ski accident, paralyzed her husband from the shoulders down...But I could see, several months later, after hours of excruciating physical therapy, that he had some hand movement. Suddenly the thought occurred to me to tell her about the healing services I've been attending...Not because her husband would be healed, but because she might benefit from the healing power of the presence of God at this very special service...That maybe, like me, she may need an extra nudge, a pat on the back, a few words of encouragement from the master engineer. As she listened to me babble on, she breathed a sigh of understanding saying, "I really do need that." Tonight, two days later, as I sat watched my son play basketball, she walked toward me smiling with her hand outstretched. "Thank you for what you told me the other day...It reall...

God has been coming up roses for my kids. I spent four hours with Ben yesterday at the heart doctor...making sure his Loving heart has all the life of a normal 16 year old. Everything looked fine...and the cardiologist seemed puzzled...because she couldn't see any problem-other than his low heart rate. I guess she's so used to seeing patients with heart disease or defects. The good news is that his eating disorder hasn't done any damage to the heart...and if we keep on track, our worse fears will never materialize. Recovery from any disease is two pronged...acceptance and action...Keeping the momentum going, even when a few snags and snafus throw you off balance. Picking yourself up with a hopeful heart means a strong chance of making it through the challenges...Clinging to your higher power means you've got all the backing you really need. Life has a way of throwing us curve balls that smack us in the face when we are looking the other way...But God has a way of cle...

Sometimes God makes us small before we can be big. Sometimes he reels us in, before he lets us go out. Sometimes we just need the time to get to really know God, before we're ready to introduce him to others. It's been my experience that if our world is too wide, before our relationship with God is strong and secure-We fall...into that frenzied free fall where the vortex of activity around us swirls so swiftly that we lose our balance, plummeting into the dark abyss of nervous energy and never ending nonsense. It is important to learn true intimacy with our higher power...to feel the Love, to accept his acceptance and to understand that there is nothing more important in this world or the next-than the unconditional Love of God. I know it's hard for some people to truly get that-It was hard for me. Our own insecurities and fears, our wounds and our worldliness often sabotages the simple truth...That God Loves us just as we are...right where we are...without all the fanfare ...

It is pure joy to watch a child revel in the wonders of God. My 12 year old son Jacob came with me to a healing Mass Friday evening...much to my surprise. He almost backed out, but in the car he admitted, "I got to thinking-what am I going to do-stay home and play video games? I can do that anytime." I laughed and congratulated him for being so present. Father Joe Benson delivered a beautiful homily, reminding everyone that every Mass is a healing Mass. Afterward he gave us time to discern exactly what we wanted God to heal within us...and then everyone lined up at the altar for personal prayers and the laying on of hands. One by one people fell to the ground, slain in the spirit, resting in God's heavenly light. Jacob panicked. "What's happening-this is making me very nervous?!" I reassured him all was well and explained that the Holy Spirit had descended upon these people and they were simply resting in the spirit." Jacob stood next to me and a...

"Precious" is anything but innocent...It is raw in its presentation, disturbingly accurate, emotionally painful and yet strangely motivating. It is the kind of film that leaves an indelible imprint on the audience, like it or not. I couldn't wait to see "Precious"...Neither could my son Jacob...And we were not disappointed...In fact, we were moved to tears-and terribly saddened by the cruelty of this real life story. Some scenes were hard to watch and equally hard to absorb...Emotional, physical and sexual assault. The victim, Claireece "Precious" Jones, is an illiterate, overweight, African American teen from Harlem. She is also pregnant with her second child by her father who regularly raped her, while her physically and emotionally abusive mother stood by. It's a lot to absorb...but the viewer-like Precious, plows forward-pushing the boundaries of human comprehension. "Precious" is not a feel good movie, but it made me feel good--becau...

Who would have ever thought, that a woman's suffering, could bring tremendous hope-to the rest of humankind? That her suffering would bear the fruits of freedom for individuals and families-from here through eternity?! Our Lady of Hope is the most accurate and profound description of the Blessed Mother's life. She has been many things to many people, but the instrument of hope has clearly been her starring role. Mary's hope held her together...gave her life meaning. As she watched her son being killed, his suffering became her own...and she clung to the hope that one day their sacrificial pain would serve to free the world from its painful prison of sin. She hoped that her son's birth, his death and his resurrection would be a living sign in the heart of man-that God's Love, conquers death and restores new life. Our Lady of Hope, in St. Augustine Florida is a vibrant, living, breathing community of hope, amid the chaos of our world. Young men who were once lost and ...

Sixteen candles today for Benjamin! And what a year it's been-for Ben! Sixteen sounds so simple and innocent...but for this soulful kid it has been the most revolutionary of rides. Hospitalization, recovery and back to reading, writing and arithmetic...It's enough to paralyze most people, but Ben is still going strong! I marvel at Ben's tenacity...His grades are great...his attitude amazing and he's working hard to maintain the monumental strides he's made...against all the odds. I'm just grateful Ben is alive and kicking...excited about getting his permanent drivers license and morphing back into the wonderful world of being a teen. From the beginning there has never been a dull moment with Ben...I almost lost him-in the early weeks of pregnancy...Low on progesterone, I laid in bed for a week, bleeding profusely, praying unceasingly...willing him to live...Today-my will and his-are just as strong as ever! Ben's a lot like me-he doesn't like to give up.....

It is an awe inspiring vision, to see the purification of a young man's spirit...to watch the light return to his eyes and to see the shadow of despair miraculously lifted. It is an act of God and it is a tremendous gift to this grateful mom. My oldest son Johnny is on a spiritual journey...carried by the cross through the darkness and into the light. For the past six months he has been living in Communita Cenacolo, Our Lady of Hope, in St. Augustine Florida. It is an oasis of Love, lead by the Holy Spirit, carried in the heart of Mary, straight into the arms of her son. Johnny entered the community a couple days after his 24Th birthday and this weekend his brothers and I were allowed to visit him, for the first time since his departure. As we talked, wonderful words of wisdom flowed from his lips...letting us know that something deep within had begun changing...An evolution of the soul, a transformation of the mind...an awakening to the many wonders of the world beyond, that are p...

We buried my friend George today. Placed his human body in the ground, laid to rest his time here on earth, honored the eternal imprint of his life. Crossing over to the other side is the continuation of our destiny-designed exclusively by a deity that Loves us, unconditionally. It is true-no one knows the hour or the day-the circumstances or the why. We do know that somewhere-somehow-our final departure from the land of the living, to the paradise of peace-has been planned, long before we entered the womb. Our lives have been carefully crafted, Lovingly cultivated and breathed into existence, by the power of God...who also carries us home, in the palm of his hand, to his heavenly embrace. As I listened to the farewells today...I heard the words of Love from the friends of one whose life can only be described as-unpredictably robust...And I felt, George watching-weighing in on every word, wanting to speak his mind-wishing he could let everyone know that God-really is in charge. Death i...

My friend George Ackel died suddenly yesterday. Complications following a medical procedure took his life, leaving everyone stunned. George was a larger than life kind of guy. A big, burly bear of a man...loud and opinionated, he growled at the slightest provocation, intimidating most people, inadvertently scaring others. But behind that tough, gruff exterior rested a gentle teddy bear, with a big heart and deeply rooted loyalties. George called me several days ago, asking for prayers as he shared the shocking news. One doctor told him he may have throat cancer, while another diagnosed a blockage of the heart. Within a few days, a second opinion made him believe he didn't have cancer, but he wouldn't know for sure until he underwent an exploratory procedure. We talked often, as he rode the emotional roller coaster that left him more stressed than ever. Yet-somehow, he remained stoic and strong and hopefully optimistic. I got the phone call about George's passing-as I ...

"This thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford A young mom tonight shared she fell off the wagon last night...Couldn't handle the pressures and resentments and the loss of her husband's job-so she scoured the pantry and found something to make herself feel better. A few hours later, the high wore off and the uncomfortable feelings returned...along with an additional feeling of failure. But from where I sat, she looked like a winner. She could have stayed DOWN...drowned her sorrows even further, instead-she picked herself up and pushed through the day one step at a time, until tonight when she admitted her flaws and her failure. She found the strength to make the one choice that would make all the difference in her tomorrows. Sometimes we have to stumble-just to see how far we've come. And as Maya Angelou so eloquently put it, "We can dream, fail and still survive." So face your failures, fast forward...and ne...

As we sat in silence, meditating...I nudged my friend Terri, "What do we have to complain about?!" I whispered. There he hung, pain stricken, vulnerable in his nakedness, sharp thorns cutting into his head, pleading eyes fixed on the heavens. What I thought, on God's green earth, do I have to complain about?! That's probably why they do it...place the life like crucifix dead center-above the altar, just above the Blessed Sacrament, right where you can't miss it...just to remind us-things could be worse, but they're destined to get better-if we keep our eyes focused-on the solution. Another friend-likes to remind me-he's not on the cross anymore...So why do we keep him there? Every one's got an opinion, but to tell you the truth, I need to be reminded of the sacrifice...and every painful moment in between. Puts my problems in perspective...helps me see clearly...gives me strength to proceed. We went to first Friday adoration in the upper ninth ward.....

We pray today, for the dead, the victims of the shocking mass slaying at Fort Hood Texas...And we shake our heads at the senseless, insanity that drove the gunman to murder innocent people. I wonder at the intense interior isolation, desperation and hopelessness...that triggered the bizarre behavior...from a psychiatrist-no less. A doctor trained to treat mentally ill people...schooled in the solutions to complex mental health issues...Someone who knew how to make healthy choices...and what he should do when darkness and despair threatened to drive him mad. When a human being snaps, losing all sense of the value of life-their life and the lives of others...It is an extreme example of the numbness that comes when that person is separated from their higher power. There may be other factors, but there is always a shift in consciousness from the will of the divine which has destined us for good, not for evil. The shift may be gradual, may be affected by chemical imbalances, trauma or di...

Our home is full this week..as it should be. The sounds of laughter and Love and old fashioned family fun are bouncing off the walls in this big bear of a house. My sister and my soul sister Kat have descended upon our world, having crossed the mountains and the miles from the shores of sunny California-to the lush marshlands and bayous of New Orleans Louisiana. It's a brave new world for them...A world away from their quiet, peaceful surroundings with Boris and Sophie their beautiful dogs. A house full of boys is quite a match for man's best friend...because the activity never ceases. It seems like forever since they last visited...and the kids are really enjoying their company and the attention. Last night we ate homemade sea weed wraps with lobster and sushi rice, tomatoes and cucumbers. It was almost too pretty to eat. Tonight a medley of veggies and prawns put smiles on the hungry faces gathered around the kitchen table. Swoop--in a few short minutes the dishes are ...

I attended a healing service tonight, because I have a lot of people I'm praying for and I figured if I can't get them there-I'd go in their place. It's quite acceptable to do that...To be a stand in for one or two or many Loved ones who need a healing. So that's what I did...I stood there and asked God to intercede on their behalf and give them that miracle healing that will make them whole...And if you're reading this, you know who you are! I know I have some kinks in my armour...but it dawned on me tonight...to pray for a complete healing of my heart. When the heart is healed the heavy emotional wounds that keep hurting us and separating us from God and others eventually slip away. Everything not only feels different, it looks different and so we react differently. Father Richard Mcalear brought his healing ministry to New Orleans this week as part of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal. As I watched the faithful raise their hands in praise and worship, some of ...

There are a lot of things I'd like to write about here...but I don't. There are some things that are better left unsaid...or unwritten. So-instead-I do a lot of talking to myself as I run through the park in the morning, or when I drive in the car...and then of course I get carried away...and end up apologizing to God for the things that are better left unsaid...But of course-God isn't judging me because he's the best therapist around and if I can't vent to my higher power then-well, I might end up saying something I regret to someone I care about and God knows and I know-that's really not cool. A lady made me laugh when she said she has a whole committee making decisions in her head...Long drawn out discussions to decide how to deal with the latest personal dilemma. It was such a funny thing for her to admit, because it made her sound like "Sybil" with multiple personalities...When in fact, this woman is probably saner than most, because she's ...

What goes around, comes around. Now it's yo yo's. Yep that timeless turning, spiraling toy that kept us entertained as children...has now made a comeback with this generation of kids. My kids received their "free hand" yo yo's today in the mail-thanks to Uncle Robert-and the spinning tricks began. I'm all for anything that gets them away from the TV or the video games or the Internet...Basketball, wiffle tennis and now yo yo's. Some pretty wholesome fun-just like when I was a kid. Of course, those were the golden, olden days when kids rode their bikes and climbed the trees and played hop scotch. At least that's how I remember it-but then I've been known to have selective memory...Some sort of self protection mechanism I'm sure. With all the other things flying around us right now, I'm happy to watch my kids engaging in some old fashioned innocent fun. It really is the simple things in life that make me happy.

I Love cool weather...there is something about the crisp, cold breeze that calms the soul and soothes the hurting heart. It felt good this morning as I walked through the park, thinking about where we are and how far we've come and where we are headed...one day at a time. Ben said goodbye yesterday to the staff and the friends he made at Riveroaks Hospital...That part of his journey has come to a peaceful end...Now we begin the daily process of putting into practice the coping mechanisms he's learned to handle his disease. Monday, he starts school and in the evenings he'll continue seeing a counselor and attending group sessions, because that's what it will take to keep him healthy-for now. It's the little things that make me feel better. He's laughing again and engaging in games and activities with his brothers-just like I remember, before he got sick. Last night some friends came by and picked him up for a movie...And today he's off to the park and then hi...

It takes patience, perseverance and parents to turn the tide. It also takes a whole lot of faith, hope and trust. The wayward wanderings of so many of our youth is from the willful neglect-of their parents. Getting the parents to understand, to make the touch choices to help their child or even to sacrifice just a little piece of themselves-for their children's peace of mind...Now that's a mountain that some parents simply refuse to climb. I'll personally, never get it. Why some parents don't really want the kids they so freely brought into the world...and why they would rather focus on themselves and forget their offspring-even when death is knocking at their child's door. So often in meetings, I hear the painful stories of hopes and dreams, destroyed by sex or drugs or alcohol...and fueled by the lack of Love at home. Kids who fear their future, because they lacked the Loving support from their parents. A debilitating emptiness, feeds the despair that begins destr...

Indifference. Yes-it is perhaps the most cunningly, seductive state. For a parent, who is indifferent to their children, it can cause unimaginable, emotional pain. Simeon Gallagher, the Capuchin priest, identified indifferent parents as the most damaging to their children...Because the lives of the young people are almost meaningless...or at the very most, of little consequence. They choose to look the other way-so they will not see the child's anguish or pain. The child is nothing more than an abstraction, to be tolerated...but in small doses. As I listened to this priest talk about the sad assault against our youth, by the very adults who are responsible for their well being, I knew he spoke the truth...The same truth spoken by Holocaust survivor and Nobel laureate, Elie Wiesel. Wiesel called indifference a strange and unnatural state that blurs the lines between light and dark, dusk and dawn, cruelty and compassion, good and evil. It is tempting...seducing someone to look the...

The weather couldn't have been more beautiful today in New Orleans...Crisp and cool and feeling like California. Or at least the California I remember... There's something about cooler temperatures that lightens the load when the heart and soul are feeling burdened and worn out. My friend Terri and I talked today about our mutual challenges and all the things that are going on-which are way to complicated to ever discuss here...So I won't. She asked me how I do it-a single parent-pushing the envelope, plowing ahead, panting with every breath. I've come to the conclusion, I told her, it's the daily Eucharist. That's right, the one piece of bread that I decided several months ago is a must for me-every single day, if I'm going to get going when the going gets tough. So far-so good. I'm still ticking-just like the energizer bunny...winding my way around the obstacles and obstructions and looking for every opportunity to make things better. It's the litt...

There's a lot of laughter outside my kitchen window tonight...The basketball is bouncing through the hoop, the kids are vying for the rebound and the screams of competition are ringing loudly-just the way I remember from days gone by. Jake and Zack and yes-Ben are playing horse and playing hard and probably having the time of their lives-from the sounds of it. I don't know if Ben is really supposed to be exerting so much energy or in his case calories...but-it's worth the joy that these kids are sharing after such a long haul through the desert of disease. Friday is d-day...departure from the hospital program Ben has been entrenched in for the last couple of months. He's looking stronger, sounding healthier and talking about re-emerging into his high school schedule--although a little anxious and worried about the stress. But we'll take it one day at a time. Ben went to a surprise Birthday party last night for some friends and spent the afternoon with another grou...

There's a place in the jungles of Peru where people go to binge on a drug that is supposed to cleanse them from the inside out...even heal the afflicted of their addictions to drugs and alcohol. The young woman who shared the story had been in recovery for two years, when her friends tried to convince her to seize the miracle cure and join them in the week long trip to nirvana. She didn't. As she eyed the ring leader who wore a pirate's outfit, something told her the wild look in his eyes did not come from the peaceful aftermath of this drug, but from his current insanity. She decided-a hike up a mountain would be as high as she cared to go. Today, back in New Orleans, she beamed, as she shared her experience, strength and hope with others who often feel powerless to just say no. She laughed with delight as she reminisced about meditating on the mountain-a memory she clearly remembered, because she had remained clear headed. I was impressed. There are no quick fixes or sure...

We sat in the lobby tonight, waiting for Benjamin to come out. Jacob played on his ipod...Zachary and I played around-tickling and laughing, until he fell asleep on the couch. I watched the people slumped in their chairs in the waiting room...Waiting on someone or something...It was 9:00pm and I wondered who they were and what had brought them here. I always feel mixed emotions when I go to this hospital...Seeing the tired, haggard faces full of fear and confusion makes me sad. There is so much pain in the world, it is a wonder these rooms aren't bulging with patients and people. Yesterday, Zack and Jake and I joined Ben and his counselor behind the locked doors for a family session. The tears flowed as the kids let down their guard and admitted their fears and their pain. Ben sat between them, his arms wrapped around their shoulders in support and solidarity and brotherly strength. I Loved seeing their expression of Love for one another...and their obvious admiration and conc...

Near death is like a near miss...It's a second chance to learn life's most valuable lessons. My friend's husband died not too long ago...But, several weeks before his death, he went through a near death experience. It was both beautiful and hellacious, merciful and condemning. It is the kind of story that speaks volumes, in a very intimate way. My friend told me, her beloved spouse, experienced the illumination of his soul. That internal vision when we receive the deepest understanding of our true self... The good, the bad, the ugly. In his case, he saw his heart torn in two...One side radiated a gold color, the other side looked blue and much darker..She said he felt drawn to the bright side...but he was pulled to the dark side...where ugly beast like demons taunted and tore him, in a bizarre physical attack. The agonizing pain and suffering and the emptiness that followed, continued until he gave up completely-surrendering his power and control to the will of God. She sai...

"Don't give in to the devil. Evil will always come back, don't avoid it, face it and attack it." Jacob How's that for a divine directive-from a 12 year old child? I've said it before and I'll say it again, the wisest words of wisdom always flow from unfiltered, unblemished, unadulterated inspiration...out of the mouths of babes! I prayed today for direction and twice, I got confirmation...A phone call and a child's confident words. I marvel at just how much my child really understands. At morning Mass the priest urged confident, close attachment to God-especially when trouble taunts us...and when there's doubt...Ask the Holy Spirit for the answer. I did and within a few hours-the answers came-through the telephone lines-and out of the mouths of babes! Doesn't get much better than that!

The lesson of the crucifixion is to teach Love. Our lesson is to learn Love. When we finally understand and accept this fully, then we become Love, which has always been our destiny. It never ceases to amaze me, that painful circumstances meant to hurt us, bring out the most profound extensions of Love, from the people we least expect. It is as though the heart's natural gift of Loving, is triggered by the egos very unnatural acts of hating. I received the most reassuring and supportive extensions of Love today-in response to an ego driven attack. As I thought about the unfolding events, I felt warmly gratified that the Holy Spirit had inspired so many good people to give so freely and so joyfully. I felt grateful that the lesson of Love, which is often felt most profoundly during challenging times, came to me so clearly, so abundantly and so warmly...And I witnessed firsthand, the power of people-to promote peace, even in the weeping heart, through simple, earnest, enveloping ...

Always remember, believe in yourself and cling to your higher power. It has been my experience, that every time I move closer to a powerful purpose with my higher power, the floodgates of hell seem to open, and the bizarre flies all around me. My kids know when something is going on, because that's when I immediately head to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. It is the spiritual fortress that gives me the strength and the inspiration to clearly see-that the light of God, always blinds the dark. I pray for direction and for the people behind the pain that always destroys the good that God intended. Yes, it is human to err, but it is evil to seek and destroy...And it is sad that sometimes the ones we have Loved the most, are the very ones who seek to hurt us the most often. Always remember, the closer you are to God, the less intense the pain and the more profound the peace, even amid the fire and brimstone...that is bound to burn the ones who never seem to learn the most basic, most time...

I got an unexpected phone call yesteray-to come pick up my son Ben from the hospital. The insurance company will no longer authorize inpatient care, because he's not skinny enough. How about that?! His doctor says he's not ready, he says he's not ready...in fact he's been losing weight again...But-the insurance company is ready to pull the plug. Talk about being blindsided. Ben cried and I just didn't know what to do. So I washed his bed linens and told his brothers and made plans to move his care to the next level. My friend Judy said it best..."He's being punished for getting better which will tell him to stay sick to get the care he needs." Let's hope not. Today Ben began intensive outpatient treatment...I dropped him off at 7:30 am and picked him up tonight at 9:00pm...He seems in better spirits...already seeing the silver lining-He can watch TV again. So we'll all hang in there and hang on to God-believing this sudden change won't...

It is a very complicated process...the things we tell ourselves about ourselves and the things we let others see. We often compartmentalize the details of ourselves, setting up boundaries for protection and sometimes for denial. It isn't easy, letting people in-even our best friends or our closest family members. There's always a risk involved, a feeling of vulnerability and of intimacy...and that can often feel very uncomfortable. But honesty, which always comes from a place of goodness, is best served, by serving up the truth whenever, wherever and however we feel called to do so. It is the one constant that anchors a healthy, happy and harmonious life. Being honest with ourselves is equally important...Sometimes there are simply some things we don't want to share...and so we shouldn't...no matter how close we are to someone. Feelings remind us what's on our minds even when they're things we're trying to forget. Letting someone else take a look at that int...

Jacob called me outside this afternoon, "Look at the rainbow." As I peered into the sky, right above our home, the faint colors of a rainbow, broke through the clouds. Zachary said, "It means peace." I had to agree. The rainbow symbolizes God's covenant with his people. His promise to be there through all the storms of our life. Rainbows usually appear after major storms...reminding us when we are feeling bruised and battered, that God is with us-and this too shall pass. There are many soft and subtle shades to a rainbow...like the many different hues of hope in our lives. Today, the rainbow reminded me of just how happy we are to have each other and the sense of peace in our home even amid the storms that are hovering over us. Together, as a family, and with a lot of help from the heavens we may be harassed, but we will never be destroyed!

I am feeling especially grateful today-for all the blessings in my life. I am especially grateful for the gift of surrender that is allowing me to understand how grace is guiding me. Our spiritual growth is directly affected by our willingness to surrender our will to the spiritual vision of our soul which is God's vision for us. God cannot get in the way of our free will, but he can work miracles if we sincerely surrender and align ourselves with his will for our lives. Friday evening I went with my friend Terri and her family to a healing service by a wonderful priest, Fr. Joe Benson. My kids were scattered to the winds, so I felt free as a bird to fly on the wings of whatever the Holy Spirit had in mind for me. After Mass, Fr. Benson invited everyone to line up in front of the beautiful altar, at Blessed Francis Seelos Church in the 9th ward. He prayed over each person individually and delivered an inspired message straight from the heavens. I waited, wondering what he would say...

My son Ben walked through the open door into the world he left behind three weeks ago...He walked into the light of day, just beyond the walls of recovery that have been both his saving grace and his personal prison. It was the first time in a long time that I had seen him in a t-shirt and shorts. Inside the chilly hospital he covers his thin body from head to toe in sweat pants, a sweatshirt, stocking cap and socks. As I watched him walk, still thin and pale, I reminded myself, that recovery happens one step at a time, one day at a time. Ben earned a pass for a few hours of fun with family. He made the weight cut-a half a pound a day-and so his long wait-for a few hours of freedom-had arrived. I was so excited for him, wanting to know how he felt-what he was thinking-but he simply said, "Just let me enjoy it." I understood. There are enough questions in therapy, the last thing he wanted to do was evaluate his feelings during his free time. Besides, there is a confusing mi...

The most awesome gift came to me this week-gliding on the wings of grace across the miles, over the ocean straight from the pages of my past...A Facebook reunion! My best friend, from my freshman year in college came looking for me-all the way from Ecuador...on Facebook. Cyber travel brought us together for the first time in 30 years. The unexpected reunion is especially amazing because she has been on my mind for weeks...And just last Friday I googled her in hopes of finding a link to her wherabouts...But no such luck. So, you can imagine my ecstatic surprise to suddenly see her e-mail pop up on my computer this week. God-incidences don't get much better than that! My beautiful friend Mili is from Guayaquil where she still lives with her husband and children. As I perused her photo album I saw the same luminous lady of light I Loved so dearly as a co-ed. That effervescent smile and bubbly personality lit up the room wherever she went-and now here she was, lighting up my comp...

Bedtime is the best time to get to know what your children are thinking or worrying about or wanting to explore. I snuggle up next to my two youngest sons, say our prayers and inevitably something very serious slips from their lips. Last night Zachary asked, "When children are poor, are they poor and poor and then they get rich and richer? Or are they poor and poor and poor and poorer?" "Depends," I said..."But if you stick with God, you'll always be rich in Love and faith." Not what he wanted to hear, but I use that line every chance I get. As we talked about what was really on his mind, I wished I could protect him from all the worries of the world. But I've learned I cannot...no matter how hard I try-I cannot control the workings of the universe-or the people in it. I am powerless over so many mind boggling, bumbling mistakes...all of them-except my own. One night Zack let out a litany of frustration as he closed his eyes, then said-"N...

My 11 year old son Zachary whispered in my ear tonight-"look at the castle behind the priest." "It's an altar," I replied. He was right though-the beautifully carved arches reaching to the heavens looked magnificent! In fact, everywhere my eyes roamed, I saw days gone by, another era, a supernatural world where angels and saints and sinners co-existed and in their midst-the son of God, the savior-the soul of serenity. St. Patrick's Church is a jewel among New Orlean's churches. The historic landmark on Camp street has always felt like home. It inspires memories of all the churches and Cathedrals my mom shuffled me and my siblings into throughout Europe and stateside. The cypress pews, carved elevated pulpit and the 18th century murals are warmly familiar, making me feel safe and secure. I learned my Love for religious architecture and artwork inside the walls of churches just like St. Pat's and so I'm hoping to pass on my enthusiasm to my boy...

I sat here trying to think of what I could possibly say on my brother's birthday to honor how I really feel about him. He is by far, one of the most Loving and compassionate men I have ever been blessed to know...To be related is divine lagniappe! As the years have passed, I have watched him evolve into a truly gifted human being-whose true strength rests in his quiet unassuming desire to give to those truly in need. But you will never know what he has done, or is doing or is planning to do...Because he never utters a word, never seeks recognition and never lets on that he is behind the good deeds that somehow flow our way. The greatest gift he has given to me recently-is the example he has set for my five sons. Calling them, coaching them, cultivating a common respect among them...Giving them a sense of self worth and solid footing when they find themselves faltering or fumbling or feeling like failures. "Uncle Robert" tells them-and best of all-shows them-that they ...

Slowly, but surely, Ben is beginning to smile again. Especially tonight. His middle school football coach, Coach Collins, made a surprise visit...Showing up with the same enthusiasm he shows on the football field. A knowing smile lit up Ben's face as he listened intently to the coach's pep talk. He's good. Knows exactly what to say and how to say it. No wonder the boys perform so well for him on the field. Sometimes that's all a boy needs. A show of affection from a mentor who really cares and cares enough to take the time to tell him so. Ben was one of those football legends at his old school, CBS. Gifted on the field and in the classroom. A great kid with good manners and a great sense of humor. I'm grateful for the extra attention he's getting. An overdose of Love just may push him over the edge into full fledged recovery. Tonight the Love flowed. The revolving door of visitors came and went and the two hour visitation passed so quickly. At one poi...

Our biggest blessings are the ones we least expect. God likes to operate that way-throwing us rare rays of light-straight from heaven-so that life here on earth will be brighter. Today, I'm celebrating the birth of my fifth bundle of joy...who burst onto the scene 11 years ago-unplanned, but providentially positioned-to bring up the rear with all the gusto that one little guy can muster. Zachary inspired a feeling of hope in a year filled with pain-the death of my father and my younger sister. I'll never forget finding out that I was pregnant, five months after giving birth to my fourth son...and the same week my father suddenly died of a heart attack. God takes one life home and sends us another. All boy and oh what a boy...bumping up a notch the best of the testosterone talent. Football, baseball, basketball and Lacrosse-you name it...He's a skilled athlete and an amazing sport. Competitively fierce, sensitively strong-he's the kind of team player who puts fun and fai...

As I pulled to a stop at a red light in downtown New Orleans today, a disheveled man caught my eye. He wore an over sized shirt, baggy pants and tennis shoes that looked three sizes too big. His shoulders were hunched over and his thinning gray hair framed an unshaven face. A plastic grocery bag swung from his arm as he walked with those big tennis shoes that reminded me of clown shoes. I watched as he stopped in front of a large trash can, reached in and pulled out a brown paper bag that held an open beer can. He put the can to his lips, leaned back his head and tried to take a drink...But the can was obviously empty, so he threw it back into the garbage and shuffled away, muttering to himself. I felt deep sadness for him...Because for him, this may be as good as it gets. There are thousands of homeless people in New Orleans and millions nationwide...In these difficult economic times, the figures are rising. Poverty is at the heart of the problem, but the poverty of the soul, keeps th...

Amazing Grace absolutely saved a "wretch" like me! It also saved the song's author, John Newton. The 17th century servant, turned slave trader cried out "Lord save us!" as he sailed his ship through a violent storm. Delivered from near death and instantly converted, Newton believed that God had spoken to him and thus, had given him a new beginning. Guided by the gift of grace, he slowly, but surely began surrendering his will to a higher power that inspired every aspect of his life. Amazing Grace, saved me from despair a few years ago during my stay at Father Martin's Ashley in Havre de Grace, Maryland. The priest would play a tape recording of the song during weekly Mass...and I'd be mesmerized by the supernatural significance for those of us seeking a solution for our troubled lives. Grace is God's gift, and is absolutely available to everyone-anytime-everywhere. No one is exempt...All we have to do is open our hearts and ask for it. You can...

Anger is probably the least understood emotion...and the one we're afraid to deal with the most. On a re-run of Sex and the City, Charlotte tells her friends that she and her husband are in control. "Trey and I don't yell, we're Wasps." Next thing you know they're screaming angrily at each other...releasing months of pent up pain and frustration over not being able to conceive a baby. Their anger camouflaged the heartbreaking truth...Charlotte wanted a child, Trey did not. Eventually, they part ways--peacefully--because they could no longer pretend that they were on the same page. Facing the truth, they faced their pain which put their anger into proper perspective. Righteous anger...Someone stole my car anger...The kind of healthy anger that helps us separate good from bad...That's a natural emotion that no one can deny and which is healthy to feel. But-that uncomfortable anger that eats at our insides, causing us to fly off the handle, exploding emotions...

I mentioned to my son Jacob about a controversial discussion some ladies were having about the popular-and yes-controversial book, "The Shack." "That's a great book!" he exclaimed. He caught me off guard. "When did you read that book?" I asked him. "Last year-or maybe in fifth grade. My teacher talked about it and said we should read it, so I checked it out of the school library." Amazing, I thought. As we talked I told him some of the ladies thought the book was heretical...and he said, "I guess the part in the beginning where God is a woman...but if you get through the first half and read the rest of the book, it makes sense, and has a good message," he said. Through the innocent eyes of a child...open minded, moving through the pages without all the prejudices that prevent people from seeing clearly. What a breath of fresh air!

Zachary placed his head in his lap and wept. I wrapped my arm around him and whispered-"I Love you." We had just spent two hours visiting his brother Ben in the hospital before heading to Mass-where the pent up emotions came pouring out. Zack who will be 11 in a few days and his 12 year old brother Jacob, are worried about Ben...Zack told me it's scary seeing him so skinny...and he wondered out loud, "Is he closer to life-or to death?" I cringed at the question..."Life and Love and all the limitless possibilities that God has to offer," I reassured him. Jake thought out loud-"I wonder what is going to happen to Zack and me." "First you, then Johnny, then Mackie and now Ben." I searched for the right words. "I don't think anything is going to happen--but if it does," I said, "We will have the tools and the wisdom to deal with it...and I'll be there for you-every step of the way. Besides-look how well you...