GOD'S WILL
However, as I prayed for my son Mac today, I began thinking about his older brother Johnny who has been in Comunita Cenacolo for the last 21 months. Johnny, four years older than Mac, entered community on a six month commitment before deciding to stay longer-thus far almost two years.
I guess Johnny's journey in community has seemed much too easy for those of us watching from the outside. He has stuck it out even when the going got rough...Like right now. I recently received a letter from him in which he wrote, "I'm now three months into this kitchen, and I have to be completely honest, sometimes I feel like I'm suffering like a dog. The cooking, the cleaning, the late hours, no free time whatsoever, washing in a sink late at night, little sleep. It's heavy." Does that sound familiar to anyone? Hello mothers!
Johnny went on to say that he knows he'll be a better, stronger person...but that sometimes the isolation takes him to some dark places inside he didn't know existed. He says the key is to release the difficulties to God through prayer in order to remain strong. A valuable lesson for each and every one of us as we journey through our own lives.
Right now Johnny is living in community at a convent in Borgoro Italy. The house is called "Gioia" which means "joy". He says he's fasting twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays and praying on his knees before the Blessed Sacrament at 2:00 a.m. every single day...Choices he made by his own free will because he wanted to push himself harder.
Johnny has written that it is the Eucharist that sustains him...and as far as I can see-it is also transforming him. You see the power of this community lies not in doctors or medicine or rehab related activities...The power to transform and change lives lies squarely at the foot of the cross, through the saving grace of God, who became man-to rescue us from our sinful natures.
My son Johnny used to sleep all day and then party all night. His soft, soulful heart got suffocated by the drugs and the drinking and the darkness that enveloped his soul. Community life has transformed him, by helping him to see himself as God sees him...Beautiful and gifted and worth saving from his self imposed hell.
The amazing saint, Padre Pio, urged us time and again to be one hundred percent vigilant at all times by humbling ourselves under the hand of the heavenly physician..."...don't ever fall back on yourself when the storm is raging...calm your anxiety by drinking at the fountain of divine Love, which you must do by faith and trust, by humility and submission to God's will."
Johnny is learning the art of surrendering to God's will, Mac is still holding on to his free will...and me-well I have been known to be a slow learner when I don't like the lesson. So-these days I too am choosing to let go and let God, allowing the Holy Spirit to teach me a lesson or too about myself as I seek to see my sons through these challenging circumstances while trusting completely in God's providential-will for our lives.
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