COMUNITA CENACOLO-ENDURANCE

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"Don't question in the darkness what God tells you in the light."

It's a tough one, however I'm trying to keep that thought front and center as I move through the moments.

My second son Mac left Comunita Cenacolo this week after entering just one week ago. He's not ready to surrender his will completely to the will of God and to those who have come before him and made the long difficult journey through recovery. Mac wants to do it his way, which by the way, has gotten him locked up in jails, institutions and more dangerous scenarios than I would like to remember.

Over the last few years we have tried inpatient, outpatient-everything humanly possible...So now, I will pray and completely surrender my child to the Lord...to the belief that there is a power greater than any demonic darkness that is hovering over his heart and holding him hostage to this very cunning, baffling and powerful disease.

I choose to believe that my God can do for my son what he cannot do for himself and I am asking that all the obstacles that have been placed in the path of his recovery-all the people who are keeping him locked in this dance with death-be removed, once and for all.

When he called me this week and wanted to come home, the hardest words I've ever had to say were, "I Love you but you cannot come home-you have to return to community and let them help you." As sad as I feel, I know my firm commitment to the proven process is critical when the going gets tough...and I imagine it's going to get a lot tougher. Not knowing where your child is, where he will end up or if he's alive is torture...yet-it's the chilling reality of this ugly disease.

When Mac agreed to enter community, an adult friend gave him a free pass to come home, telling him to call anytime and he would immediately fly him back home...and so that's exactly what Mac did. The temptation to leave was just too great and too easy for him to resist and community life was just too challenging for him to accept.

Recovery means revising our whole way of thinking and consequently our whole way of life. We have to heal from the deep wounds that triggered our addiction and let go of the old resentments that threaten to drag us back into it. It's scary territory-looking at all the old baggage we've been carrying around for years...However, when we successfully unload the weight-the freedom that follows is powerfully liberating.

I Love my son Mac with an unconditional, monumental mothers Love...and I believe in him in ways he may not truly understand...I will go to whatever lengths necessary to save his life...calling on legions of angels and saints to intercede on Mac's behalf while using every tool that I have in my arsenal of spiritual weapons to fight this difficult battle.

However, I will also hold fast to the belief, that ultimately, God is in charge and if I endure to the end he will not fail me or my precious child. So today and every day, I will rest my weary heart in the healing power of his heavenly Love, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that with God-all things are possible!

Comments

Garrick said…
Thank you for sharing your faith! I have three siblings in community. One of my brothers was at Borgaro and was transferred just before Christmas. My prayers are with you and your son, Mac.
February 20, 2011
Anonymous said…
I saw you on Women of Grace this morning and I am so proud of what you have done! How do I find out information on Cenacolo? Suzanne
March 18, 2011
Chris K said…
My son left after 2 weeks in St. Augustine but went back. He has been in Cenacolo since Sept 2010 and is now in Medjugore. I have been where you are and I feel for you. I have had to say the very same things to my son. Pray hard, and my family will pray for yours as well. God bless you and your family.
March 21, 2011
Anonymous said…
My brother has been in community for a little over two years. It's been tough not only for him but for me too. Before he left for community, i felt safe with him around, he was my best friend, he tried to teach me from his mistakes, but when he entered i felt lost. It was hard, and it's still hard sometimes, but now I thank God, that he's there. I feel free. When i visit my brother at festivals, seeing his beautiful face lit up. When i first saw him, after a year, i was in shock, he looked so well tooken care of, he looked healthy. He's had two tough moments, when they called to ask if he can come home, we said no. You have to stay strong. It's going to be hard, but in the end it's all worth it. Next week, my brother is going to visit home for the week, im really excited and i have this relief because it shows, that he's ready, he's starting to understand and accepting community and his new life. I wish you all the best, and keep praying. Stay strong and may God bless you!
January 22, 2013
Believer said…
Our son left Community today, our greatest HOPE for him. I know God is in control and I have no power. I am praying for the strenght to truely believe this truth.
May 03, 2014
Believer said…
Our son left Community today, our greatest HOPE for him. I know God is in control and I have no power. I am praying for the strenght to truely believe this truth.
May 03, 2014
Gabe Rheaume said…
Being in community is tough. Someone from the outside, parents, friends, watchers of EWTN, will never see the true portrait of how things are in the community. Your children might be safe and not in prison, but they will lose their free will, and after they exit Cenacolo, they will be pressured to never return to their home state, because that environment is toxic. The community, the idea, is a beautiful thing, that's why I entered and pushed myself to stay for nearly a year. I don't have the answer for you guys, and I know all of the pain invovled.. put you and your chidlren are puttyng trust in Albino, not God, in some aspects. In community there is no room to grow as an individual, you aren't going to learn or play music leisurely, nor reading, advancing your intellect or skills. They will learn patience, to grow out of laziness, and to learn how to suffer, which are qualities I have took from the community. Thereis incredible spiritual providence, spending time with the Franciscans in Alabama, the CFRs and all the incredible intellects of theology. But we were not able to speak our minds anymore and feared repercussions for truley being ourselves, and aside from the demons we have acquired, we are actually beautiful people inside, but will lose it of course, after being reprogrammed by Cenacolo. Since leaving community, I have struggled and regained, and now I am doing incredible, working in an industry that I love and have proven t my family, that they don't have to worry about me, that I am not the same monster. That took a lot and everyday is still a test. I could talk for ages about the community, but I just wanted to share my perspective, I wish the best for everyone that has embraced the community. Best of luck. Gabe from Michigan
May 18, 2014
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