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Showing posts from September, 2008

Rest and Renewal

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I don't mind telling you I'm tired tonite. Emotionally worn out and physically tired. I'm juggling a lot of people and things and it's catching up with me. But I've learned-the hard way-that rest is a great remedy. To let the issues go until the morning...when the mind and the spirit are rejuvenated. I learned in rehab that taking care of ourselves is the first step toward a healthy lifestyle...It's the first healthy choice. And I know from long years of experience, that everything looks a little better in the morning...a little clearer and a little less overwhelming. And as I quiet myself--silence my thoughts--my spirit draws strength from a divine energy that flows best when my mind is at rest. It is the optimum time for God to renew my soul and empower my will with his healing touch. In the morning-facing our responsibilities becomes less burdensome, less weighty. The vision of hope that is always God's legacy for those who believe-energizes optimism even...

Father and Son

"The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul." David O. McKay It's a beautiful sight. To see a father and son talking. To see two men who are so alike, yet worlds apart-trying to reconnect. The miles of separation makes the boys who are now men... feel like insecure children...not quite knowing what to say--or how to say what they mean....when really -all they want to say, is "I love you-I've missed you...I need you." Sometimes it takes a near tragedy to send the walls crashing down...to remove the great divide that separates us... and imprisons us in the futility of fear. Fear is a force that fuels our insecurities and locks us in our own private time warp...where we worry about rejection and betrayal. Frozen in time...we are simply afraid to break the ice...to lose our grip on who we have become--because somewhere deep inside we know-it's not who we should have become. My son and his dad are treading on thin ice...

My Precious Gift!

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God sent me my second son when I least expected it. I was frustrated...told God "I guess you want me to speak about you and Medjugorje for the rest of my days and not have anymore children...fine, just fine!" Of course I didn't mean it-but what could I do?! I had miscarried a baby in the holy hills of Medjugorje ...far from home in the land of Bosnia Herzegovina. I was sent there to report on the reported apparitions of the Blessed Mother. Before my assignment ended, I had gained a long lost faith...but I had lost- my greatest treasure, the miracle of life...Over the next several months I tried hard to replace my lost baby, but fate kept saying no...so I surrendered to the possibility that God had other plans for me. That's when-it happened--when I least expected it-life returned and renewed my spirit... He's 19 now...smart, tall, dark and handsome...and at a crossroads... We talked for hours today...about the power of God...about our ability to understand his wi...

Politics With A Punch

I went to my first political party in ages. Nothing much has changed. The handshaking, the smiles the promises and the personalities. The worker bees gather, proudly displaying their support and their sincere devotion to the politician of the hour and the politicos themselves absorb the praise and the adulation with a professed sincerity that would make any mom proud. It takes a lot to get elected. A lot of time and money and maneuvering and manpower. Sometimes, almost all the time, there's a lot of manipulation--of people, places, ideas and positions. Sometimes the very people we peg as the best choice-happen to be the worst pick. In fact, there is no litmus test for choosing the honorable candidate--because there is something about power and control that changes a human being....slowly, but surely, seducing the honesty right out from underneath them...Not necessarily illegal acts...but too often--good old fashioned values...get robbed and are replaced by inconsiderate, thoughtles...

When It Rains-It Pours!

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When it rains it pours... but I've grown to love the pouring rain...especially when I'm indoors, snuggled up with a good book or a movie...I love the sound of the pelting rain drops on the windows...and the crash of thunder ....and the dreary dark sky that feels as though the heavens are brooding. I also likes what comes next...I know that after every rainstorm, the darkness disappears and the clouds drift away revealing the bluest skys and the brightest sunshine...and as I stare skyward I smile at the wonderful transition-that mother nature has made over and over and over again. I try to remember that I too must yield to the changes...the unexpected storms and situations that darken my days...that leave a forboding feeling in the pit of my stomach....I must remember that this too shall pass---and in the transition I will discover the timeless beauty and the essence of the gift that is my latest challenge. Today, I spent hours waiting to see one of my amazing sons...he is strug...

Our Natural Essence

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"The Tao person embraces the One And lives in peace by its pattern. Do not dwell on your ego, and you will discover your soul. Avoid prideful acts, and your work will endure. If you do not compete, no one on earth will compete against you. Follow the ancient wisdom: 'Yield and overcome.' True peace is achieved By centering And blending with life." (Tao Te Ching22)2 The essence of our lives is as natural as a soft subtle breeze or a flowing spring...to live wisely means we lead wisely...to love unconditionally means we love freely, to forgive completely means we forget everything...In the human dimension we often fall short of our essence, get lost in the living and let go of our living. So as we seek balance, hope for harmony and pray for peace...let us remember that our personal space- the essence of our being-integrated with the cycles of nature--is the most natural balance for ourselves and for our world.

WIRED FOR A CONSCIENCE

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Everyone has a conscience and when we violate the pre programmed code...our inner peace is compromised. It's that simple. Nothing seems to go right because nothing inside feels right. We are wired for serenity--the deep soul inspiring serenity that says we are simply spectacular and nothing can get in our way. It's critical that we get that...that we stay in tune with our inner workings, so that our wires don't get crossed...and so that we don't short circuit the heavenly handiwork that has been uniquely designed for us. In fact it doesn't matter if you believe in God -there is an internal knowing, an internal urging that tells you something you've done, or something you're engaged in-- is fundamentally wrong... is out of whack with what you were set up to be, with how you were wried to behave. I speak from experience...unfortunately-lots and lots of experiences...but looking back...I can clearly see the imprint of doubt and worry and fear that urged me to u...

God Works Fast!

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Do you know how God works? Fast. Sometimes-anyway. At least that was my experience tonight. As I marched myself around the corner --to my space...the place I go to soul search, or let off some steam or to find solutions...a van pulled up next to me in the dark...and I heard a cheery voice...You need a ride? My good friend and as God would have it-my sponsor who lives half way across the parish...is right in front of me, right in front of the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. "I was going to your house-then I thought, I'll go pray instead." Coincidence or God incidence? Doesn't matter- I couldn't believe it...I was just thinking how much I needed to talk to this special lady and suddenly she appears out of nowhere. Now that's how God works. Fast. If you don't make the phone call, he rewires the cables and brings the messenger to you. I guess the big guy upstairs wants me to know he is still hovering around me...keeping close tabs on me...letting me know- in some no...

24 Hours A Day

"Twenty Four Hours A Day" is a wonderful daily meditation book published by Hazelden...I'd like to share the Meditation for the Day... In improving our personal lives, we have Unseen help. We were not made so that we could see God. That would be too easy for us and there would be no merit in obeying Him. It takes an act of faith, a venture of belief, to realize the Unseen Power. Yet we have much evidence of God's existence in the strength that many people have received from the act of faith, the venture of belief. We are in a box of space and time and we can see neither our souls nor God. God and the human spirit are both outside the limitations of space and time. Yet our Unseen help is effective here and now. That has been proved in thousands of changed lives. Prayer for the Day I pray that I may make the great venture of belief. I pray that my vision may not be blocked by intellectual pride.

MY GIFTS

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It appears I'm part Jewish as well. My long lost cousin Leroy in Texas has been reading my blogs thanks to my cousin in California, Mary and he spilled the beans today. A grandmother many moons ago- on my dad's side claims the honor--and now so do I. This is what I love about modern technology. You really can let your fingers do the walking and the talking. I haven't seen or heard from Leroy in more years than I care to admit--but now-we're blogger buddies with a budding new relationship! I don't know when it began happening, but I seem to be getting more emotional...more syrupy than I used to be. I took my fourth son Jacob, in for his EEG today-and just seeing him laying on the gurney, electrodes hooked up to his head, made the waterfall bubble up. Of course the rock of Gibraltar that I am- plugged up the dyke before he found out. I didn't want to worry him... He asked me before we went in if I would please tell him the truth- if there is something medically wr...

ARMY GUY

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The world's a safer place thanks to my baby brother. Actually, he's only one year younger, although he's one year older-today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBERT! Uncle Robert, as my kids call him, is defending our nation in the good ole U.S. Army. I guess growing up as an Air Force brat wasn't good enough...he went with the tough guys. After college Robert joined the Army Corps of Engineers. Just the mention of the corps makes people here in New Orleans squirm -because of the flood waters that poured through the Levees after Hurricane Katrina. But I have a tremendous, unabiding respect for the Army guys and gals who make our world a safer place to live. I know it's shocking when the bad guys draw blood and our cherub faced men and women come home in coffins...But never forget they are fighting for our freedom ...and our future freedom. While they're away dying, we're here smiling, while they're serving on foreign soil, we're sitting safely at home, while they...

From Gentile To Jew

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We learn something new every day. My kids are part Jewish. I think it's awesome. They're baptized Catholics with a Jewish bloodline. How rich is that?! I told my oldest son and he immediately wants to see the family tree...my second son wants to know what happened to his bah mitzvah...I want to know why it took so long to find out. It seems an ingenious Tulane student--a Jewish girl- researched her family tree and traced her way to my sons great grandfather...who is living the good life in the afterlife. I'd heard rumblings over the years that Popsie might be part Jewish, but nothing was set in stone until this curious college kid came a calling. In fact my kids are descendants of the Stern family who founded Longvue House and Gardens in New Orleans right across the canal from my neighborhood. What a great blessing! It seems we really are interconnected...we really are part of one human family and try as we may to divide ourselves by regions or religions or relatives...we a...

SISTERHOOD

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." Linda Sunshine I laughed when I read that...Sisterhood is that timeless soul solidarity that no situation in life can ever sever. Never ever. Sometimes though...it seems as though we want to---putting the distance and the disdain and the damned dumb things we all say or do in the way of a perfectly designed relationship. Think about it. How many friendships or even marriages have survived the back biting, the huffs and puffs, the criticism and the crass remarks...the stolen clothes and the borrowed money...We know each others faults and virtues and catastrophes and triumphs...and even though it takes a lifetime -sometimes to overcome what happened in childhood...or where we fit in...the baby or the peacemaker, the caretaker or the avoider...sisters are always there for us...when the chips are down and the going gets rou...

HAPPY B-DAY ZACHARY!

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We celebrated a wonderful decade today, the ten year birthday of my youngest son Zachary! Everyone came, his dad and brothers and grandparents--cousins and friends. He's an amazing child, bright, beautiful, athletic, compassionate and endearingly independent. He is also our Love child--our surprise child...announced his coming just five months after the birth of his brother. I couldn't believe it...neither could his dad...but we embraced him with the same loving joy as the other bundles of energy. Seven months into my pregnancy the doctor looked worried...Zachary's measurements were off...and there were other signs indicating...complications...problems like, heart and lung defects or maybe Down Syndrome... I remember breathing a deep sigh...then letting it go...It had already been a tough year...the death of my dad and sister...and now this...We would take whatever came our way-with unconditional Love. I know we prayed fervently, possibly prayed him into health...or maybe ...

Hope Is Alive!

As long as there is a breath of life, there is hope, even after, but that's the dimension we won't need to worry about once we get there, so for now, just remember - if you're alive, hope is alive. I heard a man tonight say he wanted to die today, wanted to give up on his life, because he couldn't pay his bills or his rent. He received his eviction notice and didn't know where to turn. He thought about killing himself, but he didn't. And I don't think he will. He may not feel it or express it, but deep down inside he has hope , otherwise he wouldn't have been able to talk about the desire to die. Deep inside he was hoping that someone would reach out and help him. Talking about our problems is the best anecdote for what ails us,putting our problems out there in the universe, means we believe there is a solution. We believe that someone out there with the heart, will give us the hope. Whether you are sick, or love sick, lost or feeling abandoned, wea...

The Painted Veil

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Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between two people. I watched a wonderful love story--The Painted Veil by Sommerset Maugham. Set in the 1920's a Doctor is trapped in a loveless marriage to an unfaithful wife. He refuses to give up or give in to the gravity of her sins. His love leads him to accept an assignment in China to help the victims of the cholera epidemic. She goes with him and together the couple embark on an arduous journey... both physically and emotionally...Two independent wills...both determined to stand divided...while secretly yearning to become one. As they turn their attention away from themselves and each other...and instead, extend a helping hand to those who are less fortunate...a wisdom unfolds within...and a transformation takes place- that turns their lives upside down, inside out and right where they were destined to be. The man and the woman-the husband and the wife- let down their guard, and begin to look at life and each other through a ...

The Eye of the Soul

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It's been said, that the eye of the soul is the will. Free will, self will, if we turn our will over to the will of God, then we will be sure that our purpose will be God's purpose, and our lives will be in the the hands of God and our souls will be saved by God. In AA people are taught that addiction is not a matter of self will, ill will or a moral failing. It is a disease that renders some people powerless over alcohol, if and only if they decide to drink. If they don't take the first drink, they are no longer powerless over their disease and when they put into action the 12 step program. When they align their human will with a divine will, then and only then, will the soul of the individual illuminate the will of God. Tonight I heard someone say he had wasted 20 years drinking and drugging. He shook his head in disbelief. But for the past ten years he has surrendered his will to the will of God and that's kept him sober and willing to seek the spiritual val...

Love Your Enemies!

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Go figure. There it was delivered to me on a silver platter...It felt as though God was speaking directly to me. "Love your enemies...it's easy to love your friends, but-to love your enemies...now that's what I really want you to learn." I went to bed last night feeling frazzled, fooled and foolish...then I went to morning Mass...and heard the words that would wipe my memory clean...that would remind me of what my higher power has been gently trying to teach me for the last three years....for the benefit of the rest of my life..."Love your enemies as I have loved you!" Like I haven't heard that before...as though I don't already know that lovely lesson...as if I'm deaf, dumb and deliberately ignoring this divine directive. The truth is-loving those who love you -who are nice to you-who think you're worth their time and attention...they're easy to love--because, let's face it--it's all about us---But the others...the ignorant, arr...

SOUL OF A SAINT

When it rains it pours, then the thunder roars and the lightning strikes...and that's just the way it is...until the clouds part and the sun shines through and the glory of God is revealed. Today I had to take my 11 year old son Jacob to a Neurologist to find out why his legs are trembling uncontrollably at night. Next week he'll undergo a test to determine if it's a physical problem...because it could be emotional. The mind under stress can manipulate a multitude of symptoms...and trigger a ton of ailments. At any rate, there's something wrong...or not quite right...and we're determined to find some anwers. His grandmother, a nurse came with us...for support and to lend her medical opinion...She made us feel secure and serene-- and loved. As we walked through Children's Hospital, we saw all kinds of kids with serious health issues...I felt sad for them...and told Jake how blessed we really are...He said, "funny you should mention that--I was thinking the s...

SAINTS AND SINNERS

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Every Saint has a past, every sinner has a future. Thank God for small favors! I heard a political commentator make that remark following Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin's rousing acceptance speech. I guess he was referring to her. The political butchers were out and her head was on the chopping block. It seems Palin is less than perfect, who would have guessed. It seems her family is more mainstream than some can accept, why are they worried? Palin put the zing back in the race, put women on the front lines-again. She put the issues of family and relationships and motherhood and working women and special needs children and unwed moms and Mr. moms and working class families and strong willed women, these issues and so much more, front and center, right where they belong, right where they've always been. Five kids, a special needs child, a pregnant teen, a working mom and dad, that's life literally for countless families across our great nation. It's the real world...

DISASTERS AND A HIGHER DESTINY

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Disasters can destroy you, or deliver you to a higher destiny. It's your choice. Damage control is in the hands of the believer...the ones who choose to meet the challenges head on...those who learn to grin and bear it...to get up -and get going-especially when the going gets rough. Gustav gave us a run for our money...costing us time, emotional energy and a whole lot of media publicity...Nothings perfect, but this time-we got a lot more right, than we got wrong. That's progress. I left the city at 9:30pm and drove 8 straight hours to my destination--the sunshine and sandy beaches of San Destin Florida. It was a fluke...or better yet... a Godincidence ...My friends secured a sudden opening at a condo...just before the crowd of evacuees poured in...big enough for them and for me-- and my rugrats ...We watched impending doom from the shores of the most beautiful beaches on this side of the Pacific Ocean. I felt blessed and safe and sorry all at the same time..Blessed that my chi...