i felt the holy spirit urging me to re-post this today....
The deeper meaning speaks volumes to me...
A little over a year ago I sat with a half dozen other women waiting for a mammogram. The lady next to me asked, “How long has it been since you had your last one?” Taking a deep breath I replied, “Several years.” “So, you’re that woman?” She asked in disbelief. “Yes-I am,” I answered. I didn’t even try to explain why, because in that moment, the reasons rang hollow.
The next day I got a call to return for a follow up mammogram because of suspicious calcification. After the experts read that one, I got another phone call. I would have to go under the knife for a breast biopsy to see if I had cancer. At that point I was really worried. My dear mother had died of breast cancer.
So I told the Lord begrudgingly, “Fine, if you want me to have cancer for the conversion of so and so and so and so, then fine…I’ll accept it.” I was convinced it was a done deal. God however, was just beginning-to teach me a very valuable lesson.
Back then I was in the middle of praying the second part of an intense three part Ignatian prayer series, “Lord Teach Me to Pray.” As I sat in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel reflecting on the gospel readings the Lord spoke to me, “If you want intimacy with me or anyone else, you have got to learn to ask for what you want.”
Without missing a beat I replied, “Fine, I don’t want cancer. You know all the reasons why. My children need me, we’ve had so many illnesses-you know everything. I really don’t want cancer so please don’t give it to me. Now having said that, you know my heart, so if you really want me to carry this cross, I will do it for you.”
Asking for good health or anything else was difficult because I have NEVER been comfortable asking for what I want. I am a military brat and I have been trained subconsciously to accept even the unacceptable.
On the day of surgery as the nurse is prepping me, she reads my blood pressure and remarks, “You are really calm!.” She was right...I was calm. I understood beyond a doubt that God had my back!
A few days later on February 11, 2014, exactly one year ago today, I received the phone call that I was cancer free! “Thank you thank you!” I blurted out to the Lord! Then I called my friend Judy who squealed, “Do you know what today is?” “No, I don’t” I replied. (She’s like a date encyclopedia-I kid you not). “It’s the Feast of Our lady of Lourdes!” she replied happily.
Lourdes has become a place of spiritual and physical healing following the apparitions of the Blessed Mother to a young girl in 1858. There have been thousands of reported miracle healings and more than 60 church approved miraculous cures.
This feast day also marks the observance of the World Day of the Sick instituted by Pope John Paul II. I have never been to Lourdes however, I have a 6 foot statue of Our Lady of Lourdes in my home-a gift from a complete stranger. How's that for a Godincidence?!
So today, on the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, I will continue to pray in thanksgiving for my miracle moment and for the joy of intimacy with God who is always faithful, always listening and patiently waiting to give us the desires of our heart, when it is in our best interests. All he desires is that we ask…
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