Miracle Moments

I attended a healing service tonight, because I have a lot of people I'm praying for and I figured if I can't get them there-I'd go in their place. It's quite acceptable to do that...To be a stand in for one or two or many Loved ones who need a healing. So that's what I did...I stood there and asked God to intercede on their behalf and give them that miracle healing that will make them whole...And if you're reading this, you know who you are! I know I have some kinks in my armour...but it dawned on me tonight...to pray for a complete healing of my heart. When the heart is healed the heavy emotional wounds that keep hurting us and separating us from God and others eventually slip away. Everything not only feels different, it looks different and so we react differently. Father Richard Mcalear brought his healing ministry to New Orleans this week as part of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal. As I watched the faithful raise their hands in praise and worship, some of ...

There are a lot of things I'd like to write about here...but I don't. There are some things that are better left unsaid...or unwritten. So-instead-I do a lot of talking to myself as I run through the park in the morning, or when I drive in the car...and then of course I get carried away...and end up apologizing to God for the things that are better left unsaid...But of course-God isn't judging me because he's the best therapist around and if I can't vent to my higher power then-well, I might end up saying something I regret to someone I care about and God knows and I know-that's really not cool. A lady made me laugh when she said she has a whole committee making decisions in her head...Long drawn out discussions to decide how to deal with the latest personal dilemma. It was such a funny thing for her to admit, because it made her sound like "Sybil" with multiple personalities...When in fact, this woman is probably saner than most, because she's ...

What goes around, comes around. Now it's yo yo's. Yep that timeless turning, spiraling toy that kept us entertained as children...has now made a comeback with this generation of kids. My kids received their "free hand" yo yo's today in the mail-thanks to Uncle Robert-and the spinning tricks began. I'm all for anything that gets them away from the TV or the video games or the Internet...Basketball, wiffle tennis and now yo yo's. Some pretty wholesome fun-just like when I was a kid. Of course, those were the golden, olden days when kids rode their bikes and climbed the trees and played hop scotch. At least that's how I remember it-but then I've been known to have selective memory...Some sort of self protection mechanism I'm sure. With all the other things flying around us right now, I'm happy to watch my kids engaging in some old fashioned innocent fun. It really is the simple things in life that make me happy.

I Love cool weather...there is something about the crisp, cold breeze that calms the soul and soothes the hurting heart. It felt good this morning as I walked through the park, thinking about where we are and how far we've come and where we are headed...one day at a time. Ben said goodbye yesterday to the staff and the friends he made at Riveroaks Hospital...That part of his journey has come to a peaceful end...Now we begin the daily process of putting into practice the coping mechanisms he's learned to handle his disease. Monday, he starts school and in the evenings he'll continue seeing a counselor and attending group sessions, because that's what it will take to keep him healthy-for now. It's the little things that make me feel better. He's laughing again and engaging in games and activities with his brothers-just like I remember, before he got sick. Last night some friends came by and picked him up for a movie...And today he's off to the park and then hi...

It takes patience, perseverance and parents to turn the tide. It also takes a whole lot of faith, hope and trust. The wayward wanderings of so many of our youth is from the willful neglect-of their parents. Getting the parents to understand, to make the touch choices to help their child or even to sacrifice just a little piece of themselves-for their children's peace of mind...Now that's a mountain that some parents simply refuse to climb. I'll personally, never get it. Why some parents don't really want the kids they so freely brought into the world...and why they would rather focus on themselves and forget their offspring-even when death is knocking at their child's door. So often in meetings, I hear the painful stories of hopes and dreams, destroyed by sex or drugs or alcohol...and fueled by the lack of Love at home. Kids who fear their future, because they lacked the Loving support from their parents. A debilitating emptiness, feeds the despair that begins destr...

Indifference. Yes-it is perhaps the most cunningly, seductive state. For a parent, who is indifferent to their children, it can cause unimaginable, emotional pain. Simeon Gallagher, the Capuchin priest, identified indifferent parents as the most damaging to their children...Because the lives of the young people are almost meaningless...or at the very most, of little consequence. They choose to look the other way-so they will not see the child's anguish or pain. The child is nothing more than an abstraction, to be tolerated...but in small doses. As I listened to this priest talk about the sad assault against our youth, by the very adults who are responsible for their well being, I knew he spoke the truth...The same truth spoken by Holocaust survivor and Nobel laureate, Elie Wiesel. Wiesel called indifference a strange and unnatural state that blurs the lines between light and dark, dusk and dawn, cruelty and compassion, good and evil. It is tempting...seducing someone to look the...

The weather couldn't have been more beautiful today in New Orleans...Crisp and cool and feeling like California. Or at least the California I remember... There's something about cooler temperatures that lightens the load when the heart and soul are feeling burdened and worn out. My friend Terri and I talked today about our mutual challenges and all the things that are going on-which are way to complicated to ever discuss here...So I won't. She asked me how I do it-a single parent-pushing the envelope, plowing ahead, panting with every breath. I've come to the conclusion, I told her, it's the daily Eucharist. That's right, the one piece of bread that I decided several months ago is a must for me-every single day, if I'm going to get going when the going gets tough. So far-so good. I'm still ticking-just like the energizer bunny...winding my way around the obstacles and obstructions and looking for every opportunity to make things better. It's the litt...

There's a lot of laughter outside my kitchen window tonight...The basketball is bouncing through the hoop, the kids are vying for the rebound and the screams of competition are ringing loudly-just the way I remember from days gone by. Jake and Zack and yes-Ben are playing horse and playing hard and probably having the time of their lives-from the sounds of it. I don't know if Ben is really supposed to be exerting so much energy or in his case calories...but-it's worth the joy that these kids are sharing after such a long haul through the desert of disease. Friday is d-day...departure from the hospital program Ben has been entrenched in for the last couple of months. He's looking stronger, sounding healthier and talking about re-emerging into his high school schedule--although a little anxious and worried about the stress. But we'll take it one day at a time. Ben went to a surprise Birthday party last night for some friends and spent the afternoon with another grou...

There's a place in the jungles of Peru where people go to binge on a drug that is supposed to cleanse them from the inside out...even heal the afflicted of their addictions to drugs and alcohol. The young woman who shared the story had been in recovery for two years, when her friends tried to convince her to seize the miracle cure and join them in the week long trip to nirvana. She didn't. As she eyed the ring leader who wore a pirate's outfit, something told her the wild look in his eyes did not come from the peaceful aftermath of this drug, but from his current insanity. She decided-a hike up a mountain would be as high as she cared to go. Today, back in New Orleans, she beamed, as she shared her experience, strength and hope with others who often feel powerless to just say no. She laughed with delight as she reminisced about meditating on the mountain-a memory she clearly remembered, because she had remained clear headed. I was impressed. There are no quick fixes or sure...

We sat in the lobby tonight, waiting for Benjamin to come out. Jacob played on his ipod...Zachary and I played around-tickling and laughing, until he fell asleep on the couch. I watched the people slumped in their chairs in the waiting room...Waiting on someone or something...It was 9:00pm and I wondered who they were and what had brought them here. I always feel mixed emotions when I go to this hospital...Seeing the tired, haggard faces full of fear and confusion makes me sad. There is so much pain in the world, it is a wonder these rooms aren't bulging with patients and people. Yesterday, Zack and Jake and I joined Ben and his counselor behind the locked doors for a family session. The tears flowed as the kids let down their guard and admitted their fears and their pain. Ben sat between them, his arms wrapped around their shoulders in support and solidarity and brotherly strength. I Loved seeing their expression of Love for one another...and their obvious admiration and conc...

Near death is like a near miss...It's a second chance to learn life's most valuable lessons. My friend's husband died not too long ago...But, several weeks before his death, he went through a near death experience. It was both beautiful and hellacious, merciful and condemning. It is the kind of story that speaks volumes, in a very intimate way. My friend told me, her beloved spouse, experienced the illumination of his soul. That internal vision when we receive the deepest understanding of our true self... The good, the bad, the ugly. In his case, he saw his heart torn in two...One side radiated a gold color, the other side looked blue and much darker..She said he felt drawn to the bright side...but he was pulled to the dark side...where ugly beast like demons taunted and tore him, in a bizarre physical attack. The agonizing pain and suffering and the emptiness that followed, continued until he gave up completely-surrendering his power and control to the will of God. She sai...

"Don't give in to the devil. Evil will always come back, don't avoid it, face it and attack it." Jacob How's that for a divine directive-from a 12 year old child? I've said it before and I'll say it again, the wisest words of wisdom always flow from unfiltered, unblemished, unadulterated inspiration...out of the mouths of babes! I prayed today for direction and twice, I got confirmation...A phone call and a child's confident words. I marvel at just how much my child really understands. At morning Mass the priest urged confident, close attachment to God-especially when trouble taunts us...and when there's doubt...Ask the Holy Spirit for the answer. I did and within a few hours-the answers came-through the telephone lines-and out of the mouths of babes! Doesn't get much better than that!

The lesson of the crucifixion is to teach Love. Our lesson is to learn Love. When we finally understand and accept this fully, then we become Love, which has always been our destiny. It never ceases to amaze me, that painful circumstances meant to hurt us, bring out the most profound extensions of Love, from the people we least expect. It is as though the heart's natural gift of Loving, is triggered by the egos very unnatural acts of hating. I received the most reassuring and supportive extensions of Love today-in response to an ego driven attack. As I thought about the unfolding events, I felt warmly gratified that the Holy Spirit had inspired so many good people to give so freely and so joyfully. I felt grateful that the lesson of Love, which is often felt most profoundly during challenging times, came to me so clearly, so abundantly and so warmly...And I witnessed firsthand, the power of people-to promote peace, even in the weeping heart, through simple, earnest, enveloping ...

Always remember, believe in yourself and cling to your higher power. It has been my experience, that every time I move closer to a powerful purpose with my higher power, the floodgates of hell seem to open, and the bizarre flies all around me. My kids know when something is going on, because that's when I immediately head to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. It is the spiritual fortress that gives me the strength and the inspiration to clearly see-that the light of God, always blinds the dark. I pray for direction and for the people behind the pain that always destroys the good that God intended. Yes, it is human to err, but it is evil to seek and destroy...And it is sad that sometimes the ones we have Loved the most, are the very ones who seek to hurt us the most often. Always remember, the closer you are to God, the less intense the pain and the more profound the peace, even amid the fire and brimstone...that is bound to burn the ones who never seem to learn the most basic, most time...

I got an unexpected phone call yesteray-to come pick up my son Ben from the hospital. The insurance company will no longer authorize inpatient care, because he's not skinny enough. How about that?! His doctor says he's not ready, he says he's not ready...in fact he's been losing weight again...But-the insurance company is ready to pull the plug. Talk about being blindsided. Ben cried and I just didn't know what to do. So I washed his bed linens and told his brothers and made plans to move his care to the next level. My friend Judy said it best..."He's being punished for getting better which will tell him to stay sick to get the care he needs." Let's hope not. Today Ben began intensive outpatient treatment...I dropped him off at 7:30 am and picked him up tonight at 9:00pm...He seems in better spirits...already seeing the silver lining-He can watch TV again. So we'll all hang in there and hang on to God-believing this sudden change won't...

It is a very complicated process...the things we tell ourselves about ourselves and the things we let others see. We often compartmentalize the details of ourselves, setting up boundaries for protection and sometimes for denial. It isn't easy, letting people in-even our best friends or our closest family members. There's always a risk involved, a feeling of vulnerability and of intimacy...and that can often feel very uncomfortable. But honesty, which always comes from a place of goodness, is best served, by serving up the truth whenever, wherever and however we feel called to do so. It is the one constant that anchors a healthy, happy and harmonious life. Being honest with ourselves is equally important...Sometimes there are simply some things we don't want to share...and so we shouldn't...no matter how close we are to someone. Feelings remind us what's on our minds even when they're things we're trying to forget. Letting someone else take a look at that int...