Miracle Moments

I am so proud of my son Ben. He is beginning to find his voice. This past week, he said he needed more help...needed stronger support, needed to enter a hospital. On Saturday-we checked him in. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and to accept your limitations-while you are trying to heal. It takes a special someone, to say this isn't working, when the folks around you are wondering why not. Ben is one of those young men who at 15, is stronger than most men at 52...His strength is drawn from deep within...from the innermost center of his being...That place where spirit and soul merge to make the most amazing miracles possible. Fighting an eating disorder takes all the strength and energy that a young mind can muster...and all the Love and support a family can provide. But sometimes the stresses of life...the school, the outpatient support groups, the constant thoughts of food and the fear of gaining weight...are just too much to juggle all at once. Ben figured it out fast...

Mom has written one for us so here we go. Mom, you have always been there for us and basically catered to our every whim-so thank you! You must have come into this world special, because we all know you are very special to us...and every day you always let us know that we are always being Loved. We Love you! Jake, Ben, McCall, Zachary-Love you MOM! in absentee-Johnny Boy HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My 12 year old Jacob aced his first English quiz. I breathed a sigh of relief, "Way to go Jakie!" A few minutes later he sat at the kitchen table shaking his head and smiling. "What's up?" I asked him. "When you get a good grade it's good job...But when you get a bad grade, it's the end of the world," he said matter of factly. "That's right-that's because you're so bright and beautiful and I know you have the brains to make A's," I replied. "Failing-is your choice." Next thing I know his younger brother Zachary yelps from the den where he's doing homework, "Did Jacob fail a test?" "No-just the opposite-a cool one hundred!" I yelled back. School is in full force and the homework and tests are coming fast and furious--freaking everyone out...especially after a long day of classes, football and track. My fifteen year old Ben is every mom's dream student. Conscientious, studious and st...

When everything has been said...When you've worked as hard as you can to try to resolve the differences...When the olive branch has been extended...When forgiveness has replaced the resentments...Leave it in the hands of God...and pray. Pray for the strength to continue the journey...Pray for the wisdom to carry the torch...Pray for the Love that will lead others to the light...and Pray that you will never lose the hope and the peace that is your gift because you chose to surrender your will and your life to the power of God. If you can do this, it will be as God intended...and you will receive every blessing God has willed for you.

My very close friend is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. As she grew older the untreated wounds left by the abuse sent her seemingly perfect life, spiraling out of control. She married a man who emotionally abused her and made her feel like a victim all over again...So she engaged in self destructive behavior that made her life even more unbearable. The unhealthy marriage eventually ended. Deeply troubled, my friend accepted a trip to Medjugorje, where she quite unexpectedly, received a spiritual conversion...that inspired her to attend daily Mass. Following a medical intervention to deal with all the trauma, she began the slow process of emotional healing. Like most young women, my friend eventually wanted to get married again and so she began praying for God to send her the right husband...One who would be filled with faith and Love and the unending belief that with God-all things are possible. As she prayed one night in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, she watched a young man pray...

My 15 year old son Ben and I rode home tonight into one of the most inspiring sunsets. A rosy haze stretched out ahead, high across the sky, peeking out from behind the charcoal colored clouds. It was beautiful and serene and just as heaven should be. This evening Ben went to a food group, I went to a 12 step meeting. It seems we are both bent on becoming the best version of ourselves, whether we like it or not. That's how I look at it. Opportunities for change...Lessons for life...Every hurdle just happens to be a skip and a jump away from personal freedom. The kind of freedom that comes when our insides have been cleansed and our outsides reflect the light that is illuminating our souls. On Mondays Ben dines with other young people struggling with food issues. He brings a meal of his choice, containing the carbs, protein, fat and other nutrients his nutritionist has called for. Today he had to bring extra bread to share...Next week it will be crackers. As I drive home, Ben shakes...

Anorexia Nervosa is a lonely disease. A wounded person is trapped inside their own body, a prisoner to the fear of getting fat-so they refuse to eat the food they need to stay alive. They are starving themselves to death...Slowly, but surely killing themselves because they will not swallow the food or the liquid that their emaciated body is so desperately craving. It seems like insanity...But in essence it is a cry for help, from a deeply troubled soul. A hurting human being who is harming themselves because they can no longer take the emotional pain that has been slowly eating away at their insides. It is their way of seizing power over their lives, when their lives seem out of control. Adolescents are often the victims. They begin losing weight and then without warning, the weight loss takes on a life of its own...spiraling out of control, turning an often physically healthy and robust teen, into a walking skeleton....No muscle, no fat-just skin and bones...a walking corpse with...

It struck me again today-as it has over the last several months...that my life is being built on divine providence. Trusting that everything that I need and that my children need, is in the hands of the heavens. As my mind wanders backward over the many months of maneuvering and making ends meet...I am deeply moved by the many helping hands that have reached out and carried us along this journey of trust. My sister, my brother, Katherine...my friends and other family...a long list of Loved ones who may not fully understand how pleased they have made God, by giving so freely of themselves-to those whom God has called them to help. You see-when we resolve to trust in divine providence-it means we accept with a grateful heart, that our wants and our needs, our hopes and our dreams, will be met-as God intends to meet them...but not necessarily in the manner we feel we merit. We usually find, that we receive more than we really need, while we often learn to live with a lot less. In fact, we...

I am grateful to be alive...and I often think of how blessed I am. Sure, life can be hell on earth, the dark days are dangerously ominous and when it rains it pours tons of troubles on top of us...But it's still great to be alive and aware and anointed with hopeful optimism and unparalleled hope. As I drove home tonight from a women's meeting I felt the wisdom of God deep within-speaking to me-letting me know that the worst that is yet to come, always precedes the best that is on its way-waiting for just the right moment to right all the wrongs and remove all the doubt. I am watching the unfolding drama that is my life with a keen awareness of how my God has paved the way with precisely the right people. Persons with positions to plow the path of precision that leads to his perfect will...whether we understand his intentions or not. It often takes more time than we can imagine, more stamina than we can secure-to accept that tons of tears will fall and too many hearts will brea...

I got scalped today. 15 inches of long blond hair gone, but not forgotten. My boys snapped pictures as the stylist cut off my golden locks. My ten year old Zachary watched with dismay...as the scissors cut a jagged edge...and his mom's long mane was reduced to a short chin length bob. "That looks terrible!" he exclaimed. Michael- the man with the shears, raised his eyebrows-"My-how's your ego feeling?!" "That's alright," I replied. "I've had plenty of counseling...It doesn't even sting." I was actually thrilled to see the long hair go--to a good cause- Locks of Love. The organization that makes wigs out of human hair-for children with cancer. It takes at least 10 inches of healthy hair, held together in a pony tail with a rubber band. What a simple way to give a little piece of ourselves to a sick child. I can't imagine losing my hair...It's always been such a big part of my identity-too big in fact. But, my mom went b...

I can't imagine not talking to my siblings. I can't imagine being that filled with anger or resentment that I couldn't just pick up the phone and say "hi." Sure-we all get miffed or emotionally maimed or even made to feel like misfits every once in awhile...but that just means you're in a relationship-often with someone who really cares. And-sometimes when the relationship is with our own flesh and blood, it seems easier to get mad and stay mad, because that's how the little school girl or boy brat inside of us likes to react. When we make the choice-and clearly it is our choice-to let too much time pass between our conversations...we are absolutely punishing ourselves and others from receiving the anointed gift that God gave us so freely and so generously. It's as simple as that. God gave it and we took it away. A woman shared this week that while talking with her sister, she got mad, hung up the phone and didn't speak with her for three months. A...

"If only you could see yourself as I do, you'd be amazed by the view." Seeds of Encouragement. My 15 year old son today, gave me the kindest complement. We were doing some heavy duty soul searching and I brought up what I called some of my "loser decisions." Ben turned to me with surprise and said, "I have never thought you were a loser!" "Thank-you," I replied-deeply touched. The surprise in his voice that I would ever consider that he would ever consider me to be a loser-stopped me dead in my tracks...He never judged nor juried nor held me in contempt...for my mistakes or missteps. My worst fears were unfounded. Isn't that always the case? Our fears are greater than our reality...But the fears imprison us...by holding us hostage to the insanity of our insecurities. Humbling honesty works every single time-because putting our worries and fears out there-allows those we Love to let us know-exactly what they think about us...And it...

"Resilience," is a great read...and I can't help but wonder what the TV commentators and reviewers read. This book, written by Elizabeth Edwards, was not a tell all, let's get back at the man who betrayed me kind of book...It is deeply honest, intimately revealing and instantly inspiring in ways I had not expected. I felt her pain-mostly-from the sudden death of her beloved son...who died in a car accident. A mother's Love runs deep...and neither time nor distance seems to seal the heartache of loss. Her pain, permeated the pages and put into perspective how deeply and completely she Loves. Struggling with cancer and then the cancer of infidelity...is almost too overwhelming to even think about...But Elizabeth writes about it with such clarity of purpose and a conscious wisdom of wanting to walk this perilous path with an arsenal of honesty and integrity and God inspired wisdom. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people-especially women-conclude th...